Far Away

You offer me protection and you make it seem so easy.
All I have to do is let go, you'll take care of the rest.
Like I can take shelter in you,
Pull your skin over my shoulders to keep me warm,
Tuck my head under your skull to keep me safe
And let you circle my heart with your hands to keep me whole.

But I know how fast a cradle and turn into a vice,
And I know how fast a good man can turn into a bad man
Because bad men look like good men,
And my heart is no safer in your hands than it would be in your mouth.
In your mouth where you could take a bite and swallow me down,
And I already feel as though I’m fighting my way up out of your throat.

You tell me that I need you, convince me its true,
“Look how much I've done for you,” you say. “Where would you be without me?”
You’ve dug into my life like it was your job
Tunnels running deep and crisscrossing under my skin,
No structural integrity, you’ve got no integrity at all,
And now my body feels as though it could cave in at any second.

You ask me where I would be without you.
I tell you far away.
Far away from you and your shovels.
Far away where you hands can’t reach me and the inside of your mouth is a distant memory.

I won’t let you take me from me.
I won’t let you be who I am becoming,
I am too much to be held in your hands.
You can’t fit me into one bite,
And if you can’t get me in one then you won’t get me at all.

Because, I refuse to shrink myself down to something you can fit in your pocket.
I am not a toy, I’m not your pet.
I don’t need your hand in mine to cross a street, and I’ll cross state lines all on my own if it means leaving you behind.

Rip out your heart and offer it to me.
It won’t prove that you love me.
Just that you don’t even blink when there’s blood on your hands.
You can drop to your knees, promise me forever and ever,
Swear that you’ll put me first, keep me safe.
And I will walk away.
Because I’ve still got two legs underneath me
And nothing you say will keep them from running.