deepundergroundpoetry.com
Kata
His concentration is drilling
But the formation is weak
His thrust less than thrilling
As his pores begin to leak
The sensei starts to glower
Considering his blocks
And his kicks lacking power
In this School of Hard Knocks
The sensei's patience wears thin
Denying him a belt of brown
And his dojo mates start to grin
Contemplating a clown
He finally drops in disgrace
Slipping in his own slime
Thinks "So much for saving face
But browner luck next time."
But the formation is weak
His thrust less than thrilling
As his pores begin to leak
The sensei starts to glower
Considering his blocks
And his kicks lacking power
In this School of Hard Knocks
The sensei's patience wears thin
Denying him a belt of brown
And his dojo mates start to grin
Contemplating a clown
He finally drops in disgrace
Slipping in his own slime
Thinks "So much for saving face
But browner luck next time."
Published 28th Jun 2015
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Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2020 3:45am
28th Jun 2015 5:53pm
<< post removed >>
Thanks Taryn. I took some license. Dojo mates actually remain pretty inscrutable in these situations. If they crack an inappropriate smile or begin to snicker the sensei figuratively kicks ass. Glad you enjoyed! Had very mixed feelings about this myself.
28th Jun 2015 6:55pm
"Browner luck next time" haha I love that. This is a great write. It puts you into the situation, I felt the disappointment of the poor student as he tries and fails. The school of hard knocks is rough, I hope he keeps trying. Well done Crowfly.
He did keep trying Sammy. He actually only got as far as an orange belt, but I used "brown" to complete the rhyme. General life circumstances prevented him from proceeding past the orange, which is just one above the yellow belt. But better than nothing, I suppose. Thanks for the comment!
Anonymous
29th Jun 2015 3:17am
Sir Crowfly, I've had my share in "sensei's", so I can relate. . .brilliantly penned. . .enjoyed . . .xoxo, Devlin;)
29th Jun 2015 5:44am
30th Jun 2015 10:46pm
29th Jun 2015 12:05pm
30th Jun 2015 10:47pm
29th Jun 2015 5:01pm
30th Jun 2015 10:50pm
30th Jun 2015 5:39pm
Might be worse than failing the drivers license test. As VP says, this piece just flows with the story. Even has a kick to it.
30th Jun 2015 10:45pm
6th Aug 2015 7:00am
Oh shit... not enough focus. Yeeeeeah, that's a huge let-down for a youngun', but every stripe, every rank, every level is earned, never granted. Good glimpse to a very real place. I tested twice for Brown belt, years ago. Spent almost a year after the first failure, studying just to reach that place. After that was studio-hopping, skimming all the knowledge I could, never staying long enough to draw lineage again. That's cool though, that he got to experience the failure of testing. It makes it so the student learns... and doesn't end up experience the failure of not ducking or blocking or walking away from a situ he should've read better later.
