deepundergroundpoetry.com
Wine and Cot
A monkhouse is a pit.
The end of the adventure comes
like an attic freshly discovered
in a house you thought you knew,
yet here it is, naked and alone.
A school of sunbeams swim past your attic window,
and though you know a monkhouse is a pit,
you seek your wine and cot.
The end of the adventure comes
like an attic freshly discovered
in a house you thought you knew,
yet here it is, naked and alone.
A school of sunbeams swim past your attic window,
and though you know a monkhouse is a pit,
you seek your wine and cot.
Published 24th Jun 2015
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likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 6
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The author encourages honest critique.
24th Jun 2015 6:18am
Oh wow, for an aspiring Librarian, you write quite beautifully you know. I'd blame it on far to much wine but we both know the reading probably has something to do with it.
I love the "attic discovered" image in this, I think it's masterfull how 5 words send the mind on a Harry Potter chapter.
"swimming sunbeams..." aaaah! Nailed it!
Thanks for the read.
;)
Al
I love the "attic discovered" image in this, I think it's masterfull how 5 words send the mind on a Harry Potter chapter.
"swimming sunbeams..." aaaah! Nailed it!
Thanks for the read.
;)
Al
24th Jun 2015 4:29pm
hahaha Harry Potter slept under the stairs, not in the attic! Thank you for your very kind feedback, Al. xxx
Anonymous
24th Jun 2015 9:01am
See, I find this profoundly sad, sweet, but that just might be me. The combined images of nakedness, the empty house, the attic window. All bursting with melancholy.
I like the wrap up towards the end. The comfort it provides in the very last line.
I like the wrap up towards the end. The comfort it provides in the very last line.
All my poems are melancholic haha; I think I'm just a miserable bastard! Thank you for your very kind feedback, Miss. xxx
26th Jun 2015 6:13pm
"a school of sunbeams" - perfect
both in term and in contrast - fine words to enjoy with my wine
in my cot
both in term and in contrast - fine words to enjoy with my wine
in my cot
26th Jun 2015 11:15pm
