Noose

i am hanginging there
between life and reason
between air and seasons
lock and freedom
its not a far fall
just a long journey
that sees me queazing
irregular breathin'

i...i miss you since the day that you were gone
since my mum murdered you
and told me to get my life along
i get it
its fucked up
got shit luck
stuck in this rut
im guilty but its not me who messed up
can you look through these swolen eyes
and prove to me im spewing lies
DONT TELL ME TO SUCK IT UP
if i did, my fist would be inches deep in that pink gut
i miss you
but they dont want me to
fuck what they think
they behave like behave like providers
not like parents do

and she.... she ran over you
i promised that i would kill for you
i never said goodbye to you
i love you!
i'll kill her
poison the drink or smother her
paralyse her
and abandon her
i want to bury her
like she made them do to you
did you know her favourite spot is a funeral?

it hurts not having you around
my biggest fan
my only one
you loved me like no one did
i loved you
as much as a misanthropist could
you broke that mould
and opened up my soul
i want to sleep
and never wake up

i dont know how to end this poem
not really thinking clear
all i can say is that i love you
and i REALLY wish you were here