Reflections of My Adversary

If only I could have been more confident in my roaring twenties  
To overcome the adversary glaring through the fractured mirror  
I would have achieved grace if my shadow wasn't such a formidable foe  
Too good I was at excusing failures, even better at beating down desire  
A pile of quivering insecurities shook the balls out of this sack  
When an ounce of self-esteem could have melted fifty pounds of fat  
I'd have had fewer places to hide with less shadow off my ass  
Now all these cracks in the glass are revealing detached eyes  
All staring back at me from beyond my broken open windows  
Drunk with every cup of confidence still withering within my walls  
Plastered to the void that sways with every last breathe    
I've stolen final moments from the living dead  
Hoping they wouldn't miss it just before they fell to Hell  
And yet my own eyes glare at me for each second of thievery    
I coldly robbed them of to add one second to my own  
Knowing I would never pay them back or pay it forward with my bones  
in selfish hope for immortality that expired two thousand years ago