Fucked

I feel sick
I've been waiting, waiting
But patience are fading
As is my grip on reality
I'm stuck in a fallacy
Back in time where
Emotions never caused a scare
I am here, you are there
The distance that we share
Is too much to bear
And it just isn't fair
I'm riddled with despair
And nothing can compare

Because I've tried and failed
My flaws prevailed
They always do
They always win
I don't know why I play the game
When I'll go back to where I've been
Fight with confidence
But I'm too much to handle
Think I can battle
But I just dismantle
And you can look at my picture
Upon the IDIOT mantel
Maybe I should be more organized
Maybe I should come with a manual
Do not feel sorry for my woes
When the championship title
Keeps getting reclaimed
I must be destined for sorrow
The problem is always the same
There's only one thing to blame

I
Lose
Everything

My mind, my heart
Torn apart
Deflect, depart
Go back to the start
And they always said it!
So it must be true
I never wanted
To believe it true
But when it affects you too
I have the proof
Maybe I'm not meant to connect
Maybe that's the truth

Don't
Touch
Anything!

And you'll never feel
The warmth that radiates from my chest
Because when you invest
It's too hard to accept
That I am a disappointment
I tried my best
To put out warnings
And now look what I've done
I set the pathway
Laid down the asphalt
For what this has become

I am defective
And I'm sorry
For what my flaws have done
I don't want to lose!
But what if hate has already won...
What if you
Hate
Me
Now
But haven't realized
Somehow

I
Will
Lose
Everything!
And never
Come back
To this section
Of Earth
Again
I'll lose myself to the tides
And get carried away with time
Until I am no longer noticed
And as far from civilization
As I can be
Locked away and isolated
Imprisoned emotions
Under maximum security
Solitary confinement
For committing the crime of
Hurting others

Charged!

I just wanted to do right at large
But I guess I was never gifted
With the ability

And though I strive to be better
I can't change my core
A part of me is too fucked to ignore