Thee fools be laughing

I can feel the pain of healing through this, sister. It's true that some in the world crave another's demise.

This is well written in your voice, which has not wavered in the midst of this upheaval of soul. Carry on, sister. Shoot those words as an arrow into the mouths of fools and watch them choke on their failure to uproot your voice.

Soo astute sweet'sis of soulz, to know you are
always in my last friendie stanza up there ..grateful to you's, and healing- with hope, in  
the hands of my man.. (toes crossed n curled even)
 
Warm thx sweetie-
I feel well-hugged by ur words ;)
~d

a most originally wrought personal statement.

I'm sure academic pedant would have something to say of your use of archaic syntax, but I seem to like to respectfully butcher that stuff me'self.
AND I don't know what I'm talkin'bout anyways

Awww, you know plenty!.. I comes to ur posts
fer my logicks, dont'cha know? grin/smirk.

Aaand wha-? ..did I over-abuse er misuse past
the boundaries of smart-arsed poetess'? you
gotts me paranoid mister..lol

thank you, truly fer posting, ur up top m'list
of amazing peeplz ;)
~d

 
 
wow, a 'list topper'.......
 
big responsibility...arf!
 
"abuse"? "misuse"? aw,cmon-- no way

ye couldn't a'buse 'me' even if ye 'tried real hard'

huzzaaaaaah!

oh thou do-est tempt a soft cackle...
tee-hee's of ~d

y'all cmon over here & say that,(or anything), swee'eart.

cmon!

2nd and 3rd stanza was my darkest peak'n...awesomely creative.
Then to conclude to your friends was nice.
Enjoyed😊

Grins hun, did not want to scare off
m'friends..
 (you) are on m'good list/ def last stanza..;)
tyty fer stoppin by sweetie!
~d

DadaD commenting on syntax, I had to do a double take there... ;)     
    
I'd like to critique your poem. I don't want you to think I'm picking on you, nor am saying I'm some great writer, or any bullshit like that. It's my personal opinion and my writing always improves from honest and similar critiques. We tend to make friends here and end up depriving our friends of important critiques, because it feels wrong, when nothing could be more right.     
    
The piece feels disjointed to me. Where were you and where are you going? Though, I like the originality of your metaphors and writing it kind of feels like statements just mixed together. I just don't understand it basically and I do realize poetry isn't always meant to be of course...     
    
The forced rhyme is always something which takes away from the poetry for me and I think in part it helps lead to my confusion in the end as well. In other words, if you weren't forcing rhymes your message would be more clear I think. However, as I said this is my opinion. If you love rhyming, you do you, that's what it's about...     
    
Let me look at one stanza...     
    
"Craving cool "despise"      
sharp-sliced by knife.      
Double edged blade,      
Steely assumption      
from erred-name.      
Burnt and disabled,      
M'heart's stolid stage"     
    
No idea what the first line means or why it's there. It's sort of incoherent and feels forced, though, I'm sure it means some feeling to you, tell me more...  
    
Sharp-sliced? Don't care for the term myself, or the entire line actually. The stanza would be much better by just removing that one line IMO.     
    
I hope I haven't hurt your feelings, or discouraged your writing, because it's definitely not my intention, quite the opposite in fact...     
    
I look forward to reading more...     
    
Good day...

Critique is welcome, friend, ty for taking the
time here..means much!
 
This was a rant sprung of so-called ole friend givin' lies to one who holds all my heart. Totally acknowledge the shakey tensing here. I've honestly flipped a few lines to the better since writing it. So this line:
"Craving cool "despise"..was originally in 1st stanza, but detracted there as well, as duz the "sharp" line, redundant of "double blade" line  
in the 2nd stanza..agree on the deleting "sharp" line & duz justify meaning for 2nd stanza more plainly.
 
*This critique, I applaud & ty fer aiding in  
some of its clean-up.
Welcome, you are, to aid at any future time you see fit, 'tis all about the works.
good day m'dear!
~d

Rant on and pour truth into my thirsty heart
There are so many lies circling like vultures  
waiting to pick our hearts clean
Feed them with honesty till they wither and die
Lift my spirit on a rainbow from gold
above the dark thunder where the Sun can rain light  
on the gold in your heart and the truth that you've told
Let your soul float to the heavens on white feathers
Free to soar higher with wings formed of laughter
For those who last laugh know happiness beyond measure
To reveal the connection of souls bonding in pleasure
 
JJ
 
Suffer Not the Fools
A poem for you d/t...

You're a shining smile in wait, JJ!
your heart is 'golden" hun..& I'm so glad to see you here ;) ..n wif presents in presence..

"For those who last laugh know happiness beyond measure"
~stickin' to this one, even *if I'm just T-P'ing
a damn car! evil rofls there.

adore this, man, you've cheered me beyond measure!
huggs (alot)
~d/T

darling sighs, soul sister mine, some people just need to piss in the rumour mill to make themselves feel part of the bigger picture...
... sad little fuckers, if ya ask me, not worth the energy one expends fretting over their wagging tongues
*
hugs to you xo

I do *so believe the pisserz populate at a faster
rate...rampant they are..(
& never a name, go fig-ure)

Just no damn excuse fer lies beyond maybe bore-dumb?
dunno but I'm not good at it..mostly cuz I'd have to remember wtf I sed..lmsao

luvz to you, my shiny jagged truths,
adore u lots
~d

Not sure if it was you I was telling this to last week, but one of my favorite Neil Young songs is "Ambulance Blues" there's a stanza that goes:  

"I never knew a man
Who told so many lies
He had a different story
For every set of eyes
How can he remember
Who he's talkin' to?
I know it ain't me
And I hope it isn't you"


One of his best, though not as well known. Look it up on youtube...

oh, know that song! ..was hand-fed his music
since babydayz..lol
great song, great twanged acoustic.
healing tune fer sure, luvitt
mwahs JJ!
~d/T

I think we must interlock hands & runs thru the flower fields, your choice for I dare not be judge nor be too picky.

Are you ready?

because that is what fools do, they are only good at  being foolish thus no thing else.. they are hollow.. How is that for a existence, eh? :)

Aww.. *hand ready* my darlin!
This is why I luvzu SO much, you bring me much smile when *most fleckin needed! *kisses*

Fools always be laughin.. f-em ya'know? *batt batt*
ur soo right, they gots no existence at all 'cept
makin' drama to wallow in. *dark. sighs*

.. aand.. here we *go ;)
mwahs lady!
~d

  "Dark thunder, all ye fools may it split thee in two" Very right on, good line right there ma friend... Understood this write completely, Infact, its a drag that there is only 1 category option here, this could fit in a few categories, which is very right on... This has power, like a Tiger in the corner, you are sharp and steel eyed... Anger, oh you better believe it, past Gothic, it is an anger there, somethin from yer past mayhaps, an Dark thunder on the fools to tread there, it is clear they know not who they messin with darlin... Love the lightnin, there are quiet possibly a spell cast in thurr or two's, hehehe... yer among the best o the best Sweetdarlin... You ever check out Cosmofunnel, you would turn a few heads with your writin, not many gothic there, a few, but not much... I am drunken wolf there, por que I 86'ed from there and had to use a different name than deadwolf to rejoin hehehe... Take good care ma dark lovely friend: wolf

Oh yeesha misters wolf.. you caught me in fresh vent on this one.. yappers ruin my day w/mouthy b.s & unworthy drama. was bad timing with intention to only stir away their own boredom.

Sweet thx fer the 'steely tiger' of ur comment darlins.. you are ever on my lovable list!
rofl to ur '86'ed.. I will shek it out, tyty
be ever~well & darkly,
~d