The fate of your happiness. (stand)

Trying to hold on to this fragile stability, I wish I could tell you that everything will be alright, that there is no such thing as monsters, that rainbows flow out of the eventual end of every dark storm cloud and lightning never strikes the same place twice, even when taunted. I wish I could tell you that the pain will go away, and that following your heart will only lead to dreams come true and bottomless piles of priceless treasure and castles full of happily ever afters and endless explosive orgasms.

I wish I could tell you that everything’s fine, but you know me too well, and you would know that I’m lying. There ARE monsters out there, that find pleasure in your pain, that would hang you from sharp hooks in the ceiling to slowly peel your skin from your body, just to watch you suffer. The world is full of sorrow and disappointment and lies fueled by selfish greed and manipulation, people who will hold you down just to feel the rush of power that comes from being in control.

But, there is the cruel world, and then there is you…

No, I won’t lie to you, it would do no good. But there is something I can do, as long as you let me. I will always remind you that you have survived this before. I will always point out how incredibly strong you are. You have walked down dark paths and come through the other side, stronger, victorious. You are a fighter. You are a winner. You are royalty, and deep down. You are deity, a god(dess) of the fate of your own happiness.

Happiness is never truly found in pretending that life is a fairy tale. Our hearts are poor compasses when we fail to calibrate them with our eyes, and our minds, and the jagged edges of the reality we are navigating, to avoid the pits that break us into pieces and make us miserable time and again. Happiness is found by accepting we will not always be happy, but that we are on the path we want to be on. It is found by realizing that we can always stand up for what we really want, and fight and fight without changing our resolve, without becoming the things we are fighting against. Happiness is not found in the darkness by closing our eyes, but by looking for the light on the edges and moving toward it, pushing everything cold and heavy aside until we step into the sanity of warm sunshine.  

Is it easier to cower in the night, hiding from the demons? Or to become the demon yourself?

Nay, 'tis better to stand and walk, even when all you want to do is hide under the warm shadows of a blanket fort.