deepundergroundpoetry.com
Eye Sore
The cold was torturous.
Painful to the bones
muscles tightened.
The wind
left frozen
breath
on our ears.
She wore that
long black
trench coat
like it
was knitted
to her skin.
Wrapped a scarf
around her neck
like a noose
hugging
the jugular.
A tear drop
spilled
from her
eye.
I was sure
it would
freeze.
Stared
at it;
gazed
at it's
beauty
as it glided
down her
cheek
over her
soft
full
lips.
Wondered what
that blistering
cold salt water
drop-let
would
taste-like.
I'd imagine
it was the purest
cleanest
water
known to man.
Then man
hadn't polluted
it
yet!
-x-
Painful to the bones
muscles tightened.
The wind
left frozen
breath
on our ears.
She wore that
long black
trench coat
like it
was knitted
to her skin.
Wrapped a scarf
around her neck
like a noose
hugging
the jugular.
A tear drop
spilled
from her
eye.
I was sure
it would
freeze.
Stared
at it;
gazed
at it's
beauty
as it glided
down her
cheek
over her
soft
full
lips.
Wondered what
that blistering
cold salt water
drop-let
would
taste-like.
I'd imagine
it was the purest
cleanest
water
known to man.
Then man
hadn't polluted
it
yet!
-x-
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 2
comments 11
reads 945
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Eye Sore
This feels so cleansing n spiritual, you tell all with 'a' tear droplet from eye. Somehow, like an eye-o-logist (?!), am fascinated with watever that has to do with the puresoul eyes n holy tears. And u r bk to make ur mark yet agn with this stunning write Al..keep doing this.
1
re: Re: Eye Sore
7th Jun 2015 9:35pm
Hello Uma
Thank you for popping past and leaving your handwriting here. eye-o-logist . intriguing thought.
Al .
Thank you for popping past and leaving your handwriting here. eye-o-logist . intriguing thought.
Al .
Re: Eye Sore
Anonymous
8th Jun 2015 4:01pm
i feel a little voyeuristic perusing this one, as though i'm treading on the sanctity of someone's innermost...
... uma's thoughts strike close to my own on dacryomancy and the stories one tear can tell, whether they're unspoilt or not
*
the simplicity of this belies its multifarious nature... i could read it for days and not surface from the nexus of possibilities
beautifully crafted indeed
~kat
... uma's thoughts strike close to my own on dacryomancy and the stories one tear can tell, whether they're unspoilt or not
*
the simplicity of this belies its multifarious nature... i could read it for days and not surface from the nexus of possibilities
beautifully crafted indeed
~kat
1
re: Re: Eye Sore
9th Jun 2015 11:44am
Oh Kat
Thank you so much. What an honour to receive a compliment such as "i could read it for days and not surface from the nexus of possibilities
beautifully crafted indeed" from someone such as yourself. You're too damn kind!
Al .
Thank you so much. What an honour to receive a compliment such as "i could read it for days and not surface from the nexus of possibilities
beautifully crafted indeed" from someone such as yourself. You're too damn kind!
Al .
Re: Eye Sore
8th Jun 2015 4:28pm
I love that the format is indicative of all the twisted rivers of a falling tear across the cheek and lips. Some of the imagery lovely. I almost wish the last stanza wasn't there only because it added a twinge of pollution to the beauty. But that is life as we know it.
1
re: Re: Eye Sore
Ahavati
Thank you so much for the close read and noting the pollution, exactly the point, that I was trying to convey.
Very kind words you have left here indeed.
Al .
Thank you so much for the close read and noting the pollution, exactly the point, that I was trying to convey.
Very kind words you have left here indeed.
Al .
Re: Eye Sore
24th Jun 2015 7:30am
This tugs the heart extremely but beautifully.. she is a vivid haunting one, your words gave her breaths. Lovely heavy piece
1
re: Re: Eye Sore
24th Jun 2015 12:26pm
Oooh... Hi I'm Al, A fan of your writing! I am ever so humbled by your comment, which very much captures her, exactly as I had hoped to
Thank you for visiting, I'm sorry, I'm all out of coffee and biscuits, but do come again, around about pay-day is always best here.
;)
Al-x-
Thank you for visiting, I'm sorry, I'm all out of coffee and biscuits, but do come again, around about pay-day is always best here.
;)
Al-x-
re: re: Re: Eye Sore
24th Jun 2015 3:08pm
It's truly an honour to meet you Al. And yes, this piece stayed with me from the first time i read of it. Bowing gently.
1
Re. Eye Sore
28th Aug 2015 10:38am
Al, dude in my opinion you just inked a poetic classic! This has all the elements that ring of...'timeless
n treasured' poetry... :)
n treasured' poetry... :)
1
Re: Re. Eye Sore
28th Aug 2015 3:00pm
Wow! Mr. Mind, That is such a kind and sincere thing to say. I'm honoured to receive such accolaide from you. Glad you Dig It!