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Image for the poem seek not this tragic heart

seek not this tragic heart



flip the pages of my notebook to see where Iíve been
afraid I would ever go there again


taking toll of the components of myself:
the mind that erodes, the body that destroys itself;
the heart that chases love & art, & is never satisfied.

states Iíve visited without ever setting foot in those
places: Texas, Virginia, California, Washington, Utah,
South Dakota. I booked my passage through the tenuous
admissions & restrictions of the cyber highway. and
embarked on troublesome journeys. because the obsession
of poetry is trouble. and women Ė women are trouble. they
know what it means to be bad.

how those small hands, smaller than the rain, spin their
silken webs of seduction: where love is a deep, solicited
kiss; it is the elysium of a romance novel, in which a man
becomes Rhett Butler, & a woman, Scarlett.

or love is a brutal hand, that beats amorously upon the
tender & accommodating buttocks of beneficent, sorrowing
females. the hand that brands their sensuous skin with
ruddy welts, laid sternly by whip & cane, the weapons of
fantasy. to alleviate them, & myself, from our sinful desiresÖ

till I realize that love isnít love at all, itís the alias that
deviance goes by.

for all of itís darkness, there is an allure in the shadows where
Iíve lingered; the divebars, motel rooms, battlefields, the beds
of whores. the women I could name, but I will not, because in
the caverns of my lonely heart, I guard the honor to keep our
dirty secrets. itís the passion I canít walk away fromÖ


flip the pages of my notebook to see where Iíve been
afraid I would never go there again


(Art: David Hamilton)


JohnFeddeler
Written by JohnFeddeler
Published
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