just another modern misfit

Novocain giggles
Sleepy marijuana breaths
Smoke curled around my lips
Like my body draped on yours

Vodka and Mountain Dew
In the back of my throat
Jäger and Monster Energy
At the tip of my tongue
Each it's own significant drug
I'm speaking to neither
And both of you at once
As the drunken stupor ends
And the hangover takes hold

The love web I weaved
Just to eat out your heart
Fueling the rage I felt
When I became lonely again
Starved of the touch of affection
Yet still the taste lingered

Aimless references
To reality and dreams
Longing for the numbness
To be my savior again
For me to fall on my knees
And taint my lips
With the flesh of my fantasies
Sex is my escape
With rabbit trails of smoke
And liquor burns
Without it

What am I?