deepundergroundpoetry.com
Black
It was a night when none would sleep,
a night when stars did not shine and
clouds embalmed skies with gentle grey
shadows shrink about the porphyry urn,
the pool black, no longer reflecting as
once it did, lilies fragrant blooms
beneath a smiling moon,corn fields ripe
apple trees over burdened, cherries too.
Yet it was a night when none would sleep
a night when stars failed to light the night.
All nature stood waiting over land and sea,
a gentle night, genteel, warm and still
shadows silent in the lanes and forest.
Black and colourless gallery walls mute
gilded frames guard,hanging on walls
their rich tapestry in red and blue
but for those who sought the Canaletto
all black. layer on layer.
A night when stars did not shine.
A night when none would sleep.
Published 28th May 2015
| Edited 3rd Sep 2016
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28th May 2015 12:48pm
Great imagery but there is a great lack in punctuation, other than that really really good imagery.
28th May 2015 1:56pm
Hi Atropos
There are errors in the punctuatition. I had fun with this.It was twice as long and in two versions,something I rarely do prefering to write quickly as quickly as intended to be read.
Sadly I swiped the first version !I am a singer and write as such.i tend to use punctuation as breathing guides. It is possible to leave out punctuation allowing an intellegent reader to resolve the sense as they wish. When I read my stuff I keep an underlying tone to carry the words and sense( As in singing one does not leave a gap between each word as in chanting or plainsong )
However having said all that I have added some necessary punctuation When I read this poem I do not leave space between the words allowing changes of intonation to carry the sense. Imagine a mill stream gliding passed, the water smoth unruffled no waves then onto this glazed surface drop petals of various colours and size each falling on the water in a regular procession.
Thankyou for your interest
28th May 2015 2:20pm
I always wanted to write a Haiku with Canaletto in it, as he was a painter of nature.
Well done. Loved the gallery wall imagery.
Well done. Loved the gallery wall imagery.
Thankyou Ahavati The first colour to fade in lowering light is red which turns to black well before total darkness,We tend to view black as hostile. It can be a calming influence.
