Lack Of.

Lack Of.
The depression
The pain
And that dripping tap
In this apartment
Crawling with flies
And cockroaches alike
I lie on the itchy sheets
And stare at the encrusted ceiling
Counting the dimples of black dampness
That will cause me health problems
It better kill me quick
I don’t want to wrestle with life anymore
I’m a junkie
Gnashing my teeth at my own self-worth
Or lack of
And there’s never a light
That goes on in my head
Or a siren to wake my laziness up
I just inject a little
And lie here
Managing to get by
Somehow
And how do I move on?
Do I grab a coffee at the nearest café?
Do I silence my demons and play dominoes
With the guy that lives through the wall
I don’t think I have the strength to carry on
My eyes are tiring and I’m aging rapidly
Like a weak dog
Demented and looking for someone to brush out
The blood, sweat and tears.