Lost in the sea of my hypocrisies

My mind trips like i have nothing to say,
But I start writing bars its like I may find a way outta this maze,
I look up at the sky as I replay all the narrow escapes,
I look down at my body, I am covered in scrapes,
The struggle has been real man cause I got no cape,
my environment crumbled as I watched it like a video tape,
So I am stuck in a shuffle looking through the rubble for home plate,
I hear a chuckle cause some mother fucka out here relates,
We all tried to hustle and make up for mistakes we didn't even make,
but the fact remains; one stumble mean't trouble,
So we are left to fumble our way out of this tunnel,
So i got a couple of dreams i chase in vein,
"Maybe one day" I say so much it drives me insane,
bout to say fuck it I'm going to die this way,
Let myself cave into the landscape,
'Cuz Shit, I am too basic to change my complacence,
which contradicts that I am too egotistical to quit,
maybe I missed the meaning of being a human being,
The feelings that come with not being a machine,
Everyday is the same I am struggling to breath in peace,
In all reality I'm sinking faster than a submarine.
Between you and me I hate my hypocrisies,
I cry and scream because I am lost it seems,
But my self-esteem never seems to deplete completely,
Can you believe even if I could leave I may remain on the scene,
I am like a figurine stuck in a drawing;
This sheet of lose leaf is all I perceive,
these boundaries keep me down on my knees,
So I repeat this poem like it is all I know,
Just a John Doe and this is my home,
What can I do but just grow old,
Sit around and throw stones till i let it all go,
So i hope there is a life after this,
but I'll skip it if its the same bullshit,
Abandon ship this is no way to live,
I recognize my situation so I spit it like it is.