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Friendshit

It's a shame that I think about you sometimes
You are not worthy of my thoughts
And you certainly didn't deserve my emotions
When you had them invested in you

I cannot believe that I trusted your bullshit
And actually believed your friendship was true
What a fool I was to think you were like me
And that we both were seeking out similar things

All those tears you cried, those nights I stayed up
Relationship advice, I gave it freely all the time
Three and four in the morning, I'd wake up just for you
Because I knew you were too scared to make it through

No one else to turn to so you chose me
Because my compassionate ears were willing to listen
You made my heart an easy target
Took advantage of it where you could

It must have felt great receiving all that love
Knowing your secrets were safe and that you wouldn't be betrayed
And all the trust I gave to you
Must have made you feel pretty powerful

You saw for yourself examples of my pain
Others that hurt me clear in your view
In fact, one of them hurt you too
Funny how I thought we could identify

Never would have thought I'd be a victim of anything you'd ever do
It was well played I must say
Might as well pat yourself on the back
For fucking me over the way that you did

I wonder if you ever think about me at all
I imagine not but still I'm curious
Though I'm not stupid I know my place
I was always nothing to you

Wasn't even a person just a toy
Someone you could mess around with for amusement
Take what you wanted from and then
Throw in the trash when its use wears out

I was never even put out for recycle
But I knew my materials could be reused
So I crawled out of that dark bin
And made myself available to thrift shops

I thought maybe someone somewhere
Would want my washed up heart for something
Instead I just used the wreckage
To make my fortresses even stronger

You must have forgotten my experience with being treated like garbage
And underestimated my ability to crawl out of trash cans
That place is nothing new to me
You should know we're well acquainted

So I'm glad I didn't let you break me
You were just another one to add to the deception collection
I find it sad that you don't have it in you
To apologize and own up to your lies

As I lurkingly watch you go on with your happy life
I'd love nothing more than to expose the things you did
But I feel that you are undeserving of my presence
Even if only by anger or confrontation

My time and emotion was wasted once on you
There's no way in hell I'd do it again
Because quite honestly, you just aren't worth it
And I do not care about any explanation or justification you could give

That's why I haven't dwelled on what I thought I meant to you
I don't need to hear you say the brutal truth
Accepting it hasn't been an issue
When you've spoke it so loudly with actions

Your words could never instill confusion
Nor could they convey something I'd ever believe
A terrible human being is all that you are
And I plan to stay away from you far

Friendshit
My toilet paper is too good for you
Though I wiped clean of your betrayal a long time ago
I can't seem to flush thoughts of you for good
Written by WoundedHeart
Published
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