Sausage Guilt

 Insomnia is just sleep postponed
A mind most active is problematic
A bed is useless, a chair is pointless
There is nowhere I can manage snooze
My wife however is wonderfully blessed
With the sleep anywhere, any time gene
She claims to have aristocratic heritage
She further claims that all true aristocrats
Are so honest and just they are totally able
To sleep soundly in their beds free from guilt
Her inference being that insomnia is not real
And an inability to sleep is due to irritating guilt


Still wide awake I scan my memory banks
Looking for reasons why I might feel guilty
I think long and hard, cogitate and deliberate
My stress builds to crescendo as I find nothing
I start to feel so guilty about not feeling guilty
Then Sausages;
I am well renowned for my love of sausages
My vascular surgeon does not approve of this
My cardiac surgeon deplores sausage consumption
This means that my wife says sausages are not allowed
Yesterday I ate eggs and sausage whilst she was out
I am suddenly racked and filled with sausage guilt
And resign myself to another guilty sleepless night