The Chemical Us

I am chemicals
 my mind
all my thoughts
are built of chemicals

My brain is wired
to force me to
obtain real success
For my struggles
and trials
to come back
through my eyes
my ears
my touch

To sense success from
exterior non-self surroundings


Though my brain
is completely wired
ahead of time  
to feel the hero
To feel in love

The brain is harsh and stern gatekeeper
wont let me into myself

Unless my world actually
comes back to me
with those things


I am built of chemicals
Drugs are also chemicals,

Drugs slither into the
intricate personal machinations

Lets me in
To all the secret places

All of the cubby holes sacredly waiting
to be filled with my lovers smile,
swish of her lips

I feel the fantasy
Ecstacy
the power
the rush
without
having to do the  work
of making it so
without my world bringing it to me
through my sensations.

I don't need to go out a find a lover,
I am already 'there'


When you take drugs
you feel super
at least for a long while
until slowly you feel like a total mess, as drugs are not perfect, they are just a monkey wrench thrown to rip open the gems you already had in your mind, which is made of chemicals.

You already had it all
it is all a part of you

drugs did not give it to you
drugs just ripped open the barrier
to let you experience what was already yours

without anything in your real world triggering  them.

Your mind is a stern gatekeeper.  In order for you to feel love, it waits to find that beautiful person to walk into your life
In order for you to feel the hero
the wiring of the brain  insists
on the hard fought journey

All the places
of happiness
of the tender expression of a lover
Eros
jealousy
hate
bitterness

all feelings are like storage shelves and cubby holes
they are there for your travels in life to fill them




The secret behind drugs is a funny one.
It is You.
What do I mean by that?

Well
what is a drug?
It is a chemical.

Chemists can make tinkertoy style
models of drugs, and heroin...

...Yes, Heroin was invented by Bayer,
the aspirin maker,
as an improved version of opium
it is four opium molecules tied together,

They named it Heroin
because you feel like a hero...

well, you can make a tinker toy style model of Heroin

And Meth...

...Meth was brewed up by a japanese chemist  around 1890's
Has taken the world by storm
slowy but surely
was used by German and American troops in WWI, II
tweaking troops terminate better

It's just a molecular shape that does
chemical reactions with our brains.

 You see, 'YOU' is made out of chemicals.  
A religious person with strict morals: Chemicals.
A murderer? Chemicals.  
All our thoughts, all our being
is constructed out of chemicals.

Imagine swallowing a new chemical
into our mind mileau mix
may create some alterations
Often we just feal nauseous,
such as we felt when we smoked too many
cigarrettes the first time,
and when we vomited upon the seventh shot.

Sometimes our body can recognize a danger to our minds.
With practice, we can learn to let the new chemicals in, and give us good sensations.

The vast majority of chemicals, well, we have been perfected enough to deal with, and they cause little deviation.... but as we evolved, other plants were evolving to keep themselves from being eaten to death, and so developed poisons to make the eaters sick, and either die, or learn to avoid eating that particular plant, which would then go on to survive, and make more babies etcetera etcetera.


 I have come to the conclusion that our brain is pre-wired to swallow in our environment:
Explore
Eat food
Find Eros
Succeed
Seek to rise in the pecking order.

To do these things, We have a spot or a 'state of mind'
in our brains that we reach through  sensations from our outside world.
For example, what experiences do we need to, say, 'fall in love'?  
Perhaps we become aware of others falling in love, perhaps our social learning leads us to make a list, and when we see that in somebody, We latch on to that persons face, their personality, their lovemaking ways
we imprint that rather permanently into our thoughts.

Take Geese.
when they are hatched
if you are the first thing they see
they will imprint your image into their brains

you will now be their 'parent'.
The geese will follow you around
put their safety and welfare into your care

We have powerful pain when we break up from somebody who we Love.   All their images are burned into our mind.  Even when they are gone, our feelings dont let go so easily, and we dont just turn quickly to another. Our brain has made a strong investment in that person.  We are changed. We cannot remember or are able to go back in time to those happy go lucky days before you fell in love.

Those who can sort it out, can learn from the failure to have a richer, more satisfying love the next time around.

Everybody's brain has evolved to this point in the universe  differently.
Cultures have evolved differently as hundreds of generations live and pass on to the next.

As we have traveled the generations and the splits, and the rifts, we have become different species. At one time we , yes you, were a dinosaur.  these branched off into other forms of life, that you never were. Humans came about from many branches in the past.  We still see branches how we once were in the great apes.

In some cultures, having a mate is lifelong, and there is jealousy to protect the bond.  Other cultures don't really have jealousy, or lifelong bonding.

For all of us, there are states we can make our brain switch to , such as anger, contentment, love, jealousy, curiousity,  all these feelings have a valid place to help grasp our environment.

In a most delicate and private and personal fashion, a normal person will travel through the brain's 'states of mind', as various events or people in our vicinity trigger them.

People have a strong ability to trigger powerful feelings in us, they can make us quickly become angry, happy, confused, hurt, inspired.  Not so with other life forms, say a snake, which just scares us and slithers.  Our social mind is pre-wired to be extra sensitive to other humans.
Our protective wiring will make us fear heights, spiders, snakes, and avoid things that smell bad, or taste bitter,  because these things are bad for us.

But our achilles heal is that we are all made from chemicals.
Lets take how we might arrive at feeling like a hero.  A hero might have to go through a great struggle, have many friends who fight with them, who might have many strong experiences, failiurs, and successses, times to nurse wounds, and finally, they are able to bring about their very high standard goals, to get through the struggle, with some small handful of success, to bring something to fruition, and then, the brain turns on the floodlights, and boy do you feel like a hero.
But your brain acts as a gatekeeper, and we are pre-wired to not just feel ecstasy for no good reason.

Our mind is chemically made to demand that we struggle,
and gain control of our surroundings, and find some sort of place some niche where we can gruel out an existence.  It is how we keep it all together.  When the exterior world confirms our place.

All those people out there who may be religious, who may always be telling you how to avoid the fun stuff and stick to the straight and narrow, well, for them it keeps them alive and well, because as you know, living on your own, by no rules, or to slowly make hard won realizations is a lifes struggle.  the only sweetness you may feel is that you are paving the way for others in your situation to make it through the strange and peculiar life you have found yourself in.