Sorry(,) I lost it

I had your number here somewhere
I swear
it was in my phone
along with all the casual smut
tossed between the two  
like the therapy
in a ball thrown
from father to son

borrowed time is overdue
and all that we could do
is done
but I thought I had your number

maybe it's too late
and it decided it had no place
in the stillness of this world

after leaving the bite of cold shackles
not breaking through for so long
must have been wounding enough
that being gone
probably seemed a good idea