Drug-Induced Rant.

Suicidal thoughts.
You are face to face with an inevitable failure.
I am dying in the form of an endless spiral relentlessly descending into hell as my blackened dilated pupils stare at you pitifully with little to no response
towards any emotion, except if a facade of compassion can provide me with a way to satisfy my sick addictions.
I am trying to get out of this box, yet these walls are suffocating my being,
they are begging me to indulge into masochistic behaviours in an attempt to excuse my sadistic endavours.
I hate what I became, there is no satisfaction gained out of any confronations, as my mind is flooded with disgrace due to
the ways in which I fucked you over in the past, due to the ways in which I will fuck you over in the future,
and due to the ways in which I am fucking myself over right now.
Oh yes , destruction is now my only friend.
A labyrinth filled with fiends and demons is what i see as i try to control my desires in this shithole.
A shithole occupated by brainless, brainwashed, bastard babies that suck the blood out of your goddamn veins with nothing but valueless objects in their minds.
Detoxification will never happen. I will die with my body infested by horrific maggots in the form of any substance I can get my hands into before
I decide to end this fucking ride.

Please be by my side.
I beg you, don't let me die.
My soul cries for help even though I seem just fine.
please don't deny me...
Accept my weaknesses, embrace me for who I am , visit my funeral,
say something funny, because I strive for happiness.
The drugs just fucked with my consciousness
I don't get it, my thoughts are violently harassing me and there is no end to this stress...
I beg you god please let me breathe, even though you know i don't deserve such clarity because  
I am a worthless liar who is constantly trying to manipulate everyone every fucking second.
I have been denied freedom since I was young.
I am trapped inside this cage , my heart is pumping rage, I want to rip my fucking face apart while im trying to get some uppers.
I don't even know what i have become.
I like it when my brain is distorted as i am chasing the white dragon
Nothing satisfies me anymore. i would like to grab a knife and stab my heart with it until it spews out my whole body in blood in order to get
some form of an adrenaline rush and satisfy my psychotic maniacal self-created lust for pain.
I am eager to see how loud you will scream when you notice my suicide note upon the floor as you enter the room.
Fuck it though, I'm too much of a pussy for that.