White Girl

Revelation came with the recognition
That you were just another of many  
Bad habits. Just another
Confusion between love and need.
 
I loved you in the same way but more
Than inhaling cigarettes on my lunch break;
Than sipping hot coffee on winter mornings;
Than chugging beers at baseball games;  
Than downing Cuervo shots at every bar.
 
You were something.
Something I made myself need  
Without ever really wanting to;
Something I spent my time doing
Without the slightest realization;
Something I swore I loved
Without ever knowing what love is.
 
And now I am left with the revelation.
I might have loved you out of habit,
But you were the epitome of addiction.
Something I loved to need;
Something I needed to love.