deepundergroundpoetry.com
[2015] Too Drunk To Finish Writing This
Welcome to Alcoholic Synonymous!
You'll always be in good company
when you are one of us
We don't discriminate
based on any method
you use to self medicate
Just remember to adhere to our
Three Step Program
Step One
Is ignoring that you're sick
Step Two
Makes no difference whatsoever
the poison that you pick
Step Three
Repeat Steps One and Two
as often as you like
Whatever does the trick
It's entirely up to you
If there's a will, there's a way
to make your worries go away
My excuse for living
is to drink another day
I got ninety-nine problems
but you ain't a single one
ever since I discovered
my life without you
Was a helluva lot more fun
Out of sight, out of mind
out of focus, out of frame
Saturday night you'll find me here
playing a drinking game
The goal is not about putting the
lightweights around me to shame
I drink, therefore, I am
determined to forget her name
Ninety-nine bottles
of beer on the wall
Cell phone turned off
---not taking anyone's call
Tired of the endless drama;
chronic need to blame me
for everything in her life
going all kinds of wrong
I've already worn out the soles of my shoes
dancing to that overplayed jukebox song
What does it take
to be a blatant hypocrite?
One part twit
Two parts unevolved idiot
Never shaken, stirring up shit
Pathological liar that can never quit
whenever she's behind
Well, drinks are on me
this time around
and I think that I'll be kind
Mister, would you please
pour a round for the little lying bitch
at the end of the bar?
Pure entertainment, hearing
her accusations from afar
What she's incapable of proving
yet gets herself caught doing
It's the lifelong lesson
She's hasn't learned thus far
I don't foresee her
learning it anytime soon
Even now, ankle deep
bullshit fills the room
There's not much more to tell
that through her incriminations
she doesn't already confess
If anything, everything can be attributed
to leaks in the plumbing of her subconscious
I'd suggest you hike up your fancy dress
'cause the hem of your latest Fruedian slip
Is bound to become a dirty mess
But this would only encourage
having my name further dragged
through the mud
so why even bother?
I'll just take comfort in the old saying
Inherited from my father,
You're a broad with a paper asshole
So, cheers to you
I raise my glass
Half empty as it is
It's half full
Here's to the lies
coming back to bite you in the ass
If there's anything I'm willing
to drink to n drown myself in
that would certainly be it
I got ninety-nine problems
but you ain't a single one
Alcoholic Synonymous helped me realize
my life without you was just beginning
I got ninety-nine problems
but you ain't a single one
Alcoholic Synonymous helped me realize
my life without you was far from done
and it's a game I'm winning
Out of sight, out of mind
Out of focus, out of frame
I drink, therefore I am determined
to forget Whats-her-fucking-name
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