Love me once and never {w/ DivineStrategy}

  
the blue moon deepens the blue in your eyes, & I want  
to let go, I want to freefall into their seductiveness like a  
wounded hawk, ignoring the flashing neon of my heart  
that tells me what I already know: if I do, it’ll kill me.  
 
I’ve seen men look at you, how you return their wolfish gaze  
with scorn. but when you turn away, there comes to your  
arrogant lips a mona lisa smile, because you bathe in that  
admiration like a nymph in a Grecian lake, naked & untamed.  
 
I can look beyond your beauty, to the masquerade of your  
dark soul, & find my own sinister reflection. we are thieves  
of each other’s heart, a love story in a bad Hollywood script,  
& in the final scene, I’ll hurt you.  or you’ll hurt me.  
 
***  
 
I’ve watched your eyes change while I’ve nursed this whiskey.  
you glance and pass over me with each slight smile I hide in  
this rocks glass. it must be the moon, because instead of  
avoiding you, I  want to have you. something in your changing eyes.  
 
I  feel exposed in your gaze. like you, and that chiseled jaw line,  
know me. see me for what is really behind this red lipstick and  
perfumed neck. and that puts me at a distinct disadvantage.  
a place I  am not accustomed to dwelling in. but I want to with you.  
 
the darkness in your smile draws me closer with each breath and I  
know this is gonna end unpleasant. it always does with me and  
guys like you. but I’m gonna pretend this won’t hurt either of us.  
at the very least, I’ll end up with another black fedora for my collection.