[ Politics & Religion ] Great American New Age Novel

 
There's a girl named Dawn  
anxious to live her dull life on
a topaz island paradise  
In the long anticipated Age of Aquarius  

While the Millenium has come and gone  
Time kept on marching strong  
and life on this rock hurtling through space?  
Well, it's still no more precarious  
 
Down on your luck?  
 
Wanna make a fast buck?  
 
Just write yourself a New Age book  
and you'll make money by the truckload  
 
Sucker born every minute  
and if your quick to get in on it  
I hear it's quite the racket  
not unlike that Davinci Code  
 
Claims of abduction  
by gray space aliens in the night  
Came back from the dead  
after recruitment by Beings of White Light  
Drilled a hole in your head  
Increasing oxygen feed to the brain  
The genius of trephination?  
Who'd care if you weren't already insane?  
 
Exploit their pain  
 
Sell them fear  
 
They are their own worst enemies  
and your best salesman  
especially when you tell them  
 
The End is near  
 
There's a man named Paul
who had a hot date  
waited for Jesus to call on him
till the hour grew late  
wishing to be swept off his feet  
carried away into clouds
of the Ever Loving Rapture  

Must have been a gaping hole  
in the Lord's Metaphysical Net of Soul Capture  
 
So get off your ass  
Stop watching reruns of Ugly Betty  
You'll kick yourself  
for not having not thought of it already  
Get hard at work
on that Great American New Age Novel  
and in no time flat  
they'll be on their knees praying  
if not groveling;  
most importantly of all  
paying you for nothing  
 
Thanks for nothing