Outlaw Sex {w/ Schiitaryn}

 
 
I’m the patron saint of seedy motels
my face hangs in the mirror on the wall
the lure of cheap, demented passion
contraband sex has been my downfall
 
I’m the leader of despicable cheaters
a string of heartbroken, abandoned wives
midnight mistresses, counterfeit kisses
sordid affairs & shattered lives
 
now I’ve found you, star-crossed Woman
you’re my desire to love, & to live
you need much more than outlaw sex
but that is the only love I can give
 
***
 
broken & battered, seemingly heartless, for years I had loved  
in momentary glimpses, but always geared around one purpose;  
vowing never to go "all in" again, don't succumb & never  
allow emotional weakness to show. self preservation at the highest  
degree. refused to be found rocking in a corner once more.  
 
I have seen my reflection in shattered remains,  
in the eyes of broken hearts that were so tender. looking up & about  
from all directions as I carefully stepped past them,  
"excuse me"..."pardon me"..."I'm sorry"...  
making my way to the door after re-dressing, to then politely  
just say "thank you"  
 
I found myself back in Chicago, I was taking in the sights & smells  
I was drawn to that corner pub with its half illuminated  
lights flickering. you can't help but notice him; highlighted under  
the downward glow that was lining the bar from the ceiling. trench coat & hat  
looking much different than the others with ripped jeans, scrunched  
shirts, the basic late night grungy  
 
I got comfy after situating myself upon red leather, one stool between us,  
when I noticed him looking my way & eyes locked, he inhaled deeply; perhaps the  
Sea Island Cotton? the face I saw looked familiar. I ordered a shot of Blackhaus.  
 
'excuse me, Beautiful,' I hear him say & I glance again in his direction. 'pick up line...  
would this work on you?' I couldn't help but grin. 'Do you mind if I follow you?    
my mom always told me to follow my dreams.' he heard an answer through my  
eyes as I slid off the fake leather, stepping past the others,  
"excuse me"..."pardon me"..."I'm sorry"...  
 
...making my way to the door