Racing Thoughts

Shouting
Screaming
Inside my wrists are bleeding
This life i live is getting me no where
I keep asking why do I even care
Why keep getting back up just to fall down
Hit the ground even harder
Then begin to drown
In my lies
in my tears
Why the fuck do I have all these fears
All these scars are proof of how weak I am
Cursed among the wicked
Living with the damned
I'm like a walking zombie
mimicking those around me
trying to play like i'm happy
when really i feel like a hurricane
running
hiding
escaping
causing so much pain
confused
amused
loving the abuse
Go ahead and do it
hit me again this time harder
Screaming
moaning that's just for starters
I'm a walking disaster
Seeking a master
To defy
who'll never let me get by
Always being rough
Discipline touch
Give me a reason to be afraid
Of something real rather than fake
These demons in my head give me hell
making life seem more like jail
I have no freedom from my thoughts
Always racing, leaving me confused and lost
Rambling
Scrambling
My life, I'm always gambling
Taking chances, high cost risks
Disappointment and destruction always in the mist
See my mind is kinda fucked up
Always spinning
Rotating
intertwining
everything
nothing
Over thinking
Analyzing
Questioning
Kinda sorta but never fully understanding
The air i breathe is contaminated
Words I speak, dominated
No thinking of what to say next
Perplexed
Suppressed
Complex
Reflect
Everything's always jumbled
Thrown together, i'm disgruntled
Craving a quiet mind
A life redefined
Less Chaotic
Anti-psychotic
Where I don't feel so robotic