My Name Is Aching

You are a child's mistake
and a grown woman's tears
You are the soft in my heart
and the Pain in the soles of my feet

You have forced me to tread on dangerous grounds
You have forced me to stand on the tips of my feet
on top of gravel
You have forced me to lay my knees on that same gravel
You have forced me to swallow my tears

I want to be strong
I want to be A grown woman
Instead I am a cowering child

Still haunted by the soft spots in my heart

I am exposed
People see that they can say one name
and I break
People can see that they say a word
and I break

You can see, that I break

Say the words
Speak the truth that you have gifted to me
Call me by my name

Not the one given to me by my dear mother
Speak the truth, speak the name
call me over with a whistle

How much will you spend?
Can I have your soul?
Can I have my soul back?

I am choking on Gravel
My feet are bleeding from gravel
My knees are aching from gravel
My heart is bleeding from gravel!

My name is aching.

You are a cowering child's fear
And you made me want to be a strong woman

For you though. I will be my aching name
and my bleeding wounds.