Mom Thinks

Mom thinks that by crying in the shower no one can hear but what she doesn't know is that sometimes I sit out by the door and cry with her.
Mom thinks that by walking to the edge of the yard I can't see her smoke
Mom thinks I don't know that the mug she grasp in her shaky hands isn't coffee at all, I'm aware it is tequila. I smell it on your shaky voice.  
Mom thinks she can hide her sadness but what she doesn't know is that her little blonde headed duplicate is looking up to her
That little blonde headed girl observes closely
That little blonde headed girl will grow up and turn into what you are mom because that is all she sees
That little blonde headed girl may never see a rainbow ever again
For all she knows is arguments and pills
One day you will put down your safety habits and realize what you have done
One day you will hopefully realize you can't be sad forever and that this pain will end
This is just a phase
It has to get better right?