The First Fast (journal excerpt from Apotheosis: One with the Sun)    (FILLER)

***Some offensive religious content***

Woke up to a fruit sauce cup.  Decided to read the New Testament.  One day and 20 pages of MJJ and the P later, I finished.  Went for a 5km hike up a mountain of moss and loose sharp boulders.  No food.  No water.  No sleep (although I think I lost it around 2nd James, dozing off for a second or two...).  Just the Word of the Lord.  Spiritual Food.  No tv.  Life was a myth.  Cold, cramped, weak, starving, listless, bored, few hallucinations, visions of the future, intense memories of childhood, and Pink Floyd.  Pink Floyd was in the background as I read, somewhere playing in the lost dark interior.  Lots of gut noises.  Sometimes I wasn't even reading.

I think the only useful stuff is found in the first 4 Gospels, because it gets a little tedious afterwards.  I mean if you were to open up and read Paul's words by themselves, it would be pretty good shit.  But otherwise (especially when my perception of time was reduced to one page per hour and my body parts were cold rubber blocks, and the only recognizable way of thinking was through burps, sore back and swear words), Paul was a fucking windbag.

It was a generally crazy Jim Nut Roarin experience.  I think it helped a lot.  Although my perception of life and death is more confused than ever.  This type of physical fasting seems to me a little illogical in terms of “making Things work” (because it shouldn't matter what you are saying, doing or thinking – you are always expressing Divine Life).  But you do discover this new sense of energy.  Reality and Time really get messed up.

Sitting on the Continental Divide afterwards, It really became evident.  My purpose here is to be a “false prophet” deceiving everyone.  But this “deception” is not bad, because people will have to ignore me, and this will cause some sort of almost “physical” change in the way they think, which, by the Will of God, is “always for the better”.

I just gotta' plug away at my daily life.  Now, it is my time of silence.  I must preach later...

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