[ Bad Raps ] Don't Cry For Me 'Lil Juanita

    
For real, I'm reeling  
hopping mad, feeling    
meaner than a Mexican
jumping beaner  
Missing my Mama  
been years since I've seen her  
once upon a time in Mexico  
long ago  
 
Now can't afford gas  
to drive across the border  
Yeah, that's right, Pendejo  
---you're out of order  
She's stuck over there  
I'm stuck over here  
You cut in line
to steal jobs that were mine  
and all you got to say
for your sorry ass self is  
   
Don't cry for me 'lil Juanita  
The truth is I had to leave you  
to make more money for our family  
so we could afford a large screen television  
---I grew tired of our thirty-two inch screen  
   
We must keep up with the Juanses  
and pay for everything in cash  
why the hell should I bust my hump  
doing what I do, but making five times less?  
   
So, I'm off to the U.S.  
the Land of Opportunity  
to blend in with the rest of society  
so many Americans  
who don't appreciate what they have  
too lazy to mow the grass  
and trim their own fucking hedges  
   
Hedging my bets  
with prayers in Sunday mass  
waiting for Mama's visa approval  
legal right of passage to pass  
Until then?    
Viva La Immigration my ass  
'Merica, what a grand nation  
for the One Percenter upper class  
and putos who covertly sneak in  
cut in front of patiently waiting brethren  
then cry like a little whining bitches  
about the evils of Deportation  
while mailing home your riches  
and all you got to say
for your sorry ass self is  
   
I think I will stay here  
forever, till I die  
My dearest Juanita  
don't be you be sad  
don't you cry  
and just be glad  
you don't have to sleep with me anymore  
after I've eaten that fifth burrito  
   
Don't cry for me 'lil Juanita  
Try not to think of it as being abandoned  
to care for our children all by your lonesome  
while I drink six packs of Corona  
with my new American wife  
   
and never wake up before noon  
   
Juanita! Juanita! Juanita!  
   
This is where I cast my American right to vote  
for a new Tex Mex Border Alligator Moat  
Let's see your family swim over now  
so rude, illegally---  
   
PLEASE DON'T FEED THE ANIMALS  
   
---once they've become a meal of Mexican fast food    
   
Juanita, don't cry for me!