Broken

Since the day I was born I was giving a curse,
It was my gift from life to be kept in my corner all curled,
It was so merciless it was made for one reason,
For me to suffer slowly inside throughout every life’s seasons,
Always asking myself the question of “Why me”?
An answer I will never receive because I was born to suffer lonely,
Only within the shadow of my corner I can express myself,
Where my secrets are kept safe and no one will tell,
For so long I have wondered when the fight will end,
I try so hard to fight back my tears again and again,
But I have no control of it; the force is to strong,
Feelings of all kind that can’t stop and lingers on,
Memories that hurt; that I could feel the pain,
All over my body and running straight through my veins,
I got to find a way to be release from agony,
It’s getting hard for me to breathe, inside I’m suffocating,
I can’t sleep at night because I’m scared,
My dreams get conquered and become nightmares,
That I always wake up with a big scream,
Only the night feels my pain and grief,
I can’t hold on any more pain and burden inside,
It’s destroying me completely from heart, soul, body and mind,
My heart is bleeding that my soul is drowning in the flood,
The only way to let it out is for my wrist to cry blood,
Be completely drained because that’s how my mind feels,
I’m tired of being this way and I just want to feel real,
My eyes use to shine so bright,
But now they only shine because of the cries,
I want to be able to walk with my head up and walk straight ahead,
I want to be able to show my eyes without you seeing my sadness,
I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror without feeling down,
I want to be able to smile instead of having a frown,
To finally say goodbye to the past and walk away,
Without shedding a tear and feeling the pain,
It’s has gotten to the point where crying is just a regular way for me to be,
To feel pain is a normal feeling inside of me,
I want to be repaired; I don’t want to be broken anymore,
Be embraced by light again and melancholy nevermore,
But that’s just a false hope because the cure for this curse doesn’t exist,
I was born for the abyss and to never find bliss,
I just want to leave this life but it doesn’t want to take me anytime soon,
I realize why, It’s not because it cares but because I’m it’s amuse,