Exploring my backdoor

Exploring my backdoor


Working on expelling bad feelings regarding my backdoor
Therapist says write in a journal.
Mostly husband treated me like a hore.
Cared less what was for me internal.
Now I know anal requies training.
Only for him cared as to what he was gaining.
My friend told me her second husband for her meant plenty of opening.
Trusting my friennd of over four decades
Had one butt plug and did insert.
Wow. I can't explain.  Rushing cascades.
I guess from the raping, a small plug didn't hurt.
After two days, rushed to the store of toys.
The next size caused a second of discomfort.
Then, again pleasure beyond what I could measure. What next to employ?
Learning to make sure all things fit snug.
Quite a range in these butt plugs.
Married over twenty years, dated nine.
Replacement of a man is as easy as buying a fine wine.
If you've read other poems, know divorce is probably on the horizon.
Sad for him. What we could have shared.
Glad for my friend I'm not missing this, almost left un-dared.
Dear blank, love you in a few ways. For you feel sad.
Our son needs us.  That is constant.
Yet, now the future makes me glad.
Looking for a person like me that has the same concept.
Anal training for sometime, hope to hell the next person is honest
Will talk with me, Knowledgedaquired means I must be respected.
Coming into my own, things I let slide.
Bleak is the sunrise I used to forcast.
Sleak is the way tomorrow will stride.
Have a plan, understand.
A year and a half
It will take.
Divorce, sorry, will be part of this heading.
A path that isn't one of meaness.
Freedom for each of us to source
To chart our own new course.
Taking responsibility for my own happy sex life.
A new nymph
Adult trinkets in my mind I glimpse.
Owe plenty to my friend
Changing my direction of happiness
Ironic that out of raping mishap
Found sensual sexual exploration.