Merged aliases

Emotions I have tried to bury
Battles I have tried to fight
Appearances I have tried to uphold
Opinions I have tried to keep positive.

With stress in both environments,
Where is my safe haven?
I can't keep pretending
My aliases are merging.

Happy, enthusiastic school girl who will take on any task.
Supportive daughter who's biggest goal is to please mother.

Now I am neither - I can't be either.

School: Smiles when people are looking and keeps head down.
Home: Cries in privete when the door is closed and hides in room.

I am a liar!
To my self and others...
The ones I hold closest
And the ones from a distance.

Even I don't know who I am today - suppose it depends on my mood.

I'll keep telling myself this until I believe it:

''Crying shows the world that you still care, that your will fighting. Not that it's winning."
- Deathnotewhovian

But emotions remain and I am changed.