deepundergroundpoetry.com
She's Dangerous (Co-write with the obscenely talented JohnFeddeler)
She’s dangerous
dangerous in her desires
she plays with love
like she plays with fire
she shimmies
she strips
she’ll shut you down
with flaming lips
dances to the beat
of different drummers
she comes to play
& slays all cummers
shoots from the hip
she’s the mistress of danger
saddle your horse
& ride away, stranger!
It’s not danger….
It’s the inability to love anyone
Or anything
Nothing knows how to touch
This heart, arctic cold,
Curiously silent and pulseless
Your words stroke the page
Paint the vivid canvas of my dreams
In wild, erotic foreplay
Deliberate touches, secret
Libations, soaking in fever
In the bathtub where I can only
Imagine the flawless caresses
Of your hand
And perhaps
The strums of
A quickened heartbeat….
The siren begins to open
Her sleepy eyes,
For you…a slumbering desire,
And feline emptiness
Fueling a dangerous appetite
For you
For you…
dangerous in her desires
she plays with love
like she plays with fire
she shimmies
she strips
she’ll shut you down
with flaming lips
dances to the beat
of different drummers
she comes to play
& slays all cummers
shoots from the hip
she’s the mistress of danger
saddle your horse
& ride away, stranger!
It’s not danger….
It’s the inability to love anyone
Or anything
Nothing knows how to touch
This heart, arctic cold,
Curiously silent and pulseless
Your words stroke the page
Paint the vivid canvas of my dreams
In wild, erotic foreplay
Deliberate touches, secret
Libations, soaking in fever
In the bathtub where I can only
Imagine the flawless caresses
Of your hand
And perhaps
The strums of
A quickened heartbeat….
The siren begins to open
Her sleepy eyes,
For you…a slumbering desire,
And feline emptiness
Fueling a dangerous appetite
For you
For you…
Published 11th Mar 2015
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likes 11
reading list entries 1
comments 16
reads 1312
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The author encourages honest critique.
11th Mar 2015 5:39pm
11th Mar 2015 6:58pm
11th Mar 2015 5:44pm
11th Mar 2015 6:59pm
11th Mar 2015 5:50pm
Lovely. Simply lovely. Nice touch. Mixing dark and morbid things with the pleasures of life. Erotically morbid. Awesome lines...
11th Mar 2015 7:00pm
11th Mar 2015 5:57pm
"She plays with love like she plays with fire." "Saddle your horse and ride away, stranger!" Maybe a little stranger for the experience? Then a nice segue on the part of Mr. Feddler into "It's not danger...". His outlook is initially grim in contrast to your almost bouncy approach. But then "Fueling a dangerous appetite." He's like a dormant beast, now awake and ready for some thrills. I'd say you're both obscenely talented.
11th Mar 2015 7:02pm
Crow, my genius friend and most favored commentator, I wrote the segue. I LOVE that you think it is switched around primarily for one reason: that anyone could think I could write as well as John is about as big a compliment that anyone could give. Thank you, again, for your insight and brilliance as a critiquer.
11th Mar 2015 10:49pm
just to confirm, Crow, I wrote the 1st 2 stanzas & she followed w/her incredibly elegant words. she made this a beautiful poem.
thanks, everyone, for your gracious comments...
thanks, everyone, for your gracious comments...
12th Mar 2015 8:54pm
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2020 3:45am
11th Mar 2015 6:11pm
<< post removed >>
11th Mar 2015 7:03pm
Anonymous
11th Mar 2015 8:57pm
<< post removed >>
11th Mar 2015 10:41pm
Excellent! I'm thrilled with the way her story transpired. her admirers & apprehensive paramours perceived her as a vindictive temptress, but you gave her dignity & revealed her secret heart, her true heart. thanks for the dance, Darlin...
12th Mar 2015 3:44am
Smoothly written, like silk on satin against soft skin. Great write. Great flow.
13th Mar 2015 1:16pm
