Ear Parasites

Have you ever wondered why Earbuds break so easily?
Have you ever wondered why you get
that itchy feeling while wearing them?
It’s so you don’t end up having a horrible death.
First, little parasites go in them.  
Then, they get filled up with your earwax
Then, the parasites crawl into your ears
and eat your earwax there,
that’s the itchy feeling
Months later they will lay their eggs in your ears.
When the eggs hatch they eat your earwax
and crawl in deeper towards your brain.  
That’s when you’re about to die.
They eat and eat and eat away
your brain slowly and hatch more eggs.
Eventually they will eat something important.
You might lose the knowledge to blink first.
Then lose how to eat and drink.
Your skin will forget how to close up cuts and scrapes.
Finally the parasites will eat the part of you
that tells you how to breathe.
That is how most will die from these parasites.
That is why they make them break so easily, for your protection.
So when you get that first itchy feeling, throw them away and you’ll live.
Maybe.