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Good... Enough?

I might be good
But I wonder if I'd ever be enough for him
Not because he would expect me to be more
Or because he wouldn't appreciate me
But because he deserves so much beyond
What I'm capable of giving
And I hate to see him in places
That amount to so much less than all he is
 
Idealistically my affections would be enough
But they could easily be just good
That arises from my intentions
And the heart I've often presented
It's not blood flowing through my veins
It's a constant stream of unyielding love
But is it enough?
 
I know he likes the authenticity I display
And everything sincere that embodies our connection
It's no secret I feel the same
But I know there are others out there who are good
I'm not the only one
And that's all I want to be to him
Anything else wouldn't be enough
 
I just want to be perfectly imperfect in his eyes
The one who leaves him with no questions
Who he's sure that he wants
And who he truly believes can make him happy
But my flaws aren't beautiful
They're not reflective of how special we are together
So if he can't see that glow
How can I ever be enough?
 
I'd be honored to receive his everything
But what if all I had wasn't enough to return his gifts?
I know I'd give him all of my good
But what if my limitations didn't fill his capacity?
What if disappointment overshadowed emotion he felt?
I'm so sure he cares, but
What if he just didn't know how to tell me
That he believed
That I was good, but not enough?
 
My tears would cry me to the next stop
But imagining his happiness would be enough
To get me through, and I'd be good
I would accept it the best I could
And let him be on his way
Because I learned a long time ago
That love is good but not enough
 
I was taught that all the caring in the world
Amounts to nothing when needs aren't satisfied
And if he doesn't have all he requires, then
I don't want to make him stay
And if he feels like there's too much to deal with
Then that's okay
Because he's good
And I'll probly never have enough
 
I know that my feelings for him are real
But I also know I'm defective and broken
I understand how far behind I am at growing
And that there's still so much for me to learn
I should have figured myself out by now
Instead I got stuck on a path inadvertently created
And that's not good
Because I'm hardly enough
 
I've yet to know what he needs
And all that he craves and dreams of
But I know he's a bit of a thrill seeker
And I just want to be the thrill he's looking for
I don't want to hold him back with my issues
I just want to hold him and move forward
Because I believe we could be good
So knowing how he feels will be enough
 
When he tells me what he wants I will listen
And if I don't understand, I will let him help me try
Because I just want the best for his existence
Whether or not I'm included in it
So fortunate am I
To have been touched by his loving hands
And to know what it's really like
To be treated kindly and good
That's special to have had
And it's always been enough
 
He's so amazing
And he walks ahead of me
And I'm okay with that
Because I'm crazy
I used to fear it
But that's how he makes me
I'd love to stand behind him
To wrap my arms around him
Embrace him tightly and say
That he's good
And he's enough for me
 
And then I'd love to walk alongside him
Hold his hand and be there
Give him warmth that he craves through those dark cold nights
Make him smile, help where I can
Cherish him how he deserves
Do all I can to remind him of his worth
Oh, to love him
And to be loved by him
To share love between us
It would be so good
And more than enough
 
I just wish I could be good
As well as enough
Got a heart full of love
But I just want to be good enough
Written by WoundedHeart
Published | Edited 13th Apr 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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