Widow

There's nothing like the sensuality of a woman draped in a single piece of her lover's clothes be it a shirt or robe ... the sad conclusion in your poem demonstrates an unmoved devotion

This poem is strangely comforting, especially the first three lines. The last line seems a bit out of place/harsh. Hidden flesh instead of the word 'labia' perhaps, or perhaps not, since this is the erotica portion of the sight ;). Good work regardless! I'm a fan.

LobodeSanPedro, I am overjoyed that this poem demonstrates an unmoved devotion for you. That is exactly what I was trying for here. I'm glad to know that came through. Thank you.

Coralluna, I very much appreciate your suggestion for the last line. And I have implemented it. I had somewhat the same feeling about that word. And so you've made the poem complete. I thank you milady. I'm very glad to meet you here. :)

John

First, had the opposite feeling about the last line. Think your first instict was right, we are too afraid of clinical  words like vulva and even vagina, think you wanted pretty when you changed it, pretty is safe. You are a dangerous author, and prolific my kitten.   Raw and honest would make this piece worthy of being a standard piece of erotic subtlety taught in university and workshops. When i read it, i wanted a word like labia, ties in with skin and the body elements in this piece. Labia would have been perfect. She isnt practicing modesty here, she is trying so fucking hard to connect to him in smells and flesh, a tangibly physical way. Its such a powerful intimate image, all through the poem its happening. There is harshness in slipping on old skin. But death and remembering, acute lonliness, the need for another human to satisfy physical hungering. And maybe you will never fuck, have appetite and the ease of hunger in cock form again. And certainly never with the man whose scent contains memory of passion, completeness and your entire past.  Thats harsh. For sure.    
   
   
This poem mixes beauty in the longing and gives full force the desperate emptiness of this woman.  
Gives her a past ripe with sexuality, razor sharp opposite the desert thats replaced intamacy.    
   
I love erotica like this. Sexually charged, one flash of white thigh thrust sticks hard in your brain. My favorite poem i have read in the Deep Underground. Yes, i feel comfortable saying that. The best ive read.  
 
You get a chance read "Give and Take" of mine, i left the last line in because i just like the line, but seeing this, may have made the wrong choice. Impact might have been two fold if it wr re that one lick of sex like this piece. Im truely in amaze at your entire body of work, this piece is a master piece.  So classy darlin! Brava! Salute!  
   
💋Jennifer

Jenn I read your comment over and over. I am amazed by your ability to see deeply into my work. Your comment on this poem is the most deeply felt and powerfully written one I've had from any one in memory. I love how you understood the grief, longing, and primal hunger she has for one last love making, fucking, with the man who completed her. You discerned the layers of this work even more than I the writer. That takes a prismatic mind of great intelligence. I bow to you my queen of erotic mind blowing poetry. You make my body and soul tremble with heat soaked desire.  
 
John  
 
I restored the word labia, as you so sagaciously suggested. You are so right about this and I trust your intuition completely.

And it is good. Yes, the way it should be.  You thump my skills as a writer. This is not self deprecation, just fact.
Though i have confidence and an proud of how i have progressed so far.

But i am a skilled reader. Was at high school level in first grade.

Was in intellectual intercourse afterglow all night. Lol so happy to have met you John. 💋

goldenmyst, I love your debut on DU...i suggest the 'ands & with' in the first stanza may not be necessary but it's only a suggestion... :)
i love the second stanza...overall it is such a tender, loving piece of grief...well done... :)

"Just as an autumn leaf  
put between the sepia pages  
of a memory book,  
she presses his cherished robe  
into the folds of her labia"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
^^^ this was the perfect ending to a most deliciously pleasing poem. :)

Oh I'm so glad you enjoyed this Rain. This is one of my favorites of mine. You make me very happy tonight. ;-)

John

This one is nice. It has a quaint romantic feel that looks out of a café window. That's the mood it placed me in.

So glad this had that quaint romantic feel for you. Indeed I can see how the imagery was reminiscent of the view through a cafe window. I that you so much.

John

excellent write. erotic yet subtle. very descriptive and excellent vocabulary. well penned.

Thank you so much Samuel. Very appreciative that you picked up on the subtle sensuality here. Very perceptive.

John

I love how sensual this feels and how she seems to be in the ethereal.

Love that you felt the caress of my poem Ljdynamic my friend. Enjoyed your comment greatly. :)

Xo
John