Wishing Not To Wish

I wish I didn't wish
It would be easier that way
I'd be free of disappointment
There'd be no confusion to convey
I could have a moment to myself
Without daydreams creeping in
Stop imagining someone else
Wondering what they could be thinking
Scenarios flash through mind
I create them on heart's demand
They pull me in and I can't fight
I get trapped in that time span
And I like it way too much
To the point my body's burning
I can feel every single touch
And it leaves my soul just yearning
Want can be exciting
And dreams can be great
A little hope is alright
But wishes are dangerous to make

So why can't I make it stop
Why must I experience this?
How do I prevent a want
From turning into a wish
Because I don't want to feel
What will never be real
I can enjoy a state of bliss
A little fantasy is cool
But when it turns into a wish
I run the risk of hopeless fool
Because when I know what I can't have
I don't want to believe I can

I wish I didn't wish
To affect your heart inside
For certain moments we experience
To make you feel what you can't describe
And I wish I wouldn't wish
To be the product of your endless thoughts
Dreaming that I'm the one you miss
During the times I know I'm not
When you have all that's important most
You should require nothing more
When somebody cares and keeps you close
Why is something still left to wish for?
The things that aren't at all essential
Wont' let me let them go
A secret world I can't control
And no one can ever know

I just hate how wants
Have to turn into wishes
Why can't I turn them off
Before hope and desire mixes
Gotta find a solution
To shield myself from delusion
Trying to contain my thoughts
But they insist on expansion
Whether a little or a lot
I just don't like that it at all happens
I know wishes don't come true
But I wish wishes could be through

I don't want to wish
That you want me the same
The exact degree of intensity
A mutual fiery flame
And I don't want to believe
That control ever could slip your grasp
You'd never lose it like me
I know you're not the type for that
And I don't want to expect
That one day things could change
That in time you will express
How you feel in every way
That you'll surprise me with sweet displays
And come on strong from time to time
A random text during your day
To let me know I'm on your mind
Or that you'll be compelled by occasional urges
To let the world know how you feel
Because warm emotional surges
Left you with smiles you can't conceal
But these things are so nonurgent
Without them I'm content and fine
I don't know what to do to curb this
Completely crazy heart of mine
It's a strange problem indeed
And I just don't know how to fix it
Why do the small things I don't need
Sometimes become my greatest wishes