deepundergroundpoetry.com
Denying What I Know Is There
I keep mistaking being busy with
needing to be occupied
so that I don't slip into
the darkness that will consume me
but let's not call it what it is
and I refuse to accept
my state of mind
even though nights are filled with
salty droplets
and heavy thoughts
what does this mean?
the smile on my face
means nothing to me
but it lights up people's world
so I achieve my goal of being useful
but I can't stand myself
so I tuck myself into a pocket of lies
where I don't use that word,
the awful word my mother uses,
ever so lightly
I refuse to be like her!
and I will manipulate my emotions;
call myself happy when
deep down
I cannot breathe
deep down
I do not smile
but let's still not call it what it is
because it's been made so mainstream
that I will not find myself caught in that mess
I would rather die
than be viewed as one of them
and I would rather die
I would rather die
needing to be occupied
so that I don't slip into
the darkness that will consume me
but let's not call it what it is
and I refuse to accept
my state of mind
even though nights are filled with
salty droplets
and heavy thoughts
what does this mean?
the smile on my face
means nothing to me
but it lights up people's world
so I achieve my goal of being useful
but I can't stand myself
so I tuck myself into a pocket of lies
where I don't use that word,
the awful word my mother uses,
ever so lightly
I refuse to be like her!
and I will manipulate my emotions;
call myself happy when
deep down
I cannot breathe
deep down
I do not smile
but let's still not call it what it is
because it's been made so mainstream
that I will not find myself caught in that mess
I would rather die
than be viewed as one of them
and I would rather die
I would rather die
Published 23rd Feb 2015
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Anonymous
22nd Dec 2015 11:03am
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