Coloured her pretty

I'm always swimming in deep waters with you Craic I love it.. so much sadness I sense in this write beautiful with love Crim

Crims,

nice to see you around, thanks for dropping by and leaving your thoughts. I suppose there is the potential for sadness.  didn't feel it  myself but that's the thing about poetry, thank you

this is quite the picture that you paint. lovely and nicely done.

 Minerva

you're very kind, I'm glad you got the picture I was trying to paint

thanks for dropping by and leaving your thoughts

Dear Craic, I will have to let this simmer more, perhaps. I have read it over a few times and, to me; it sounds like a description of one of those porcelain figurines that hold jewelry. A very intense and lovely description of such an object. I feel simultaneously that I must be wrong
Either way, a stellar write and good read
Thanks
Love and light

Missus moon,  I have come to expect a variety of perspectives here when folk comment, I think its a good thing.  your comment put a smile on my face, bless you.

I love your idea,   thank you most much for dropping by and leaving your thoughts, missus

it's like reading natural 8mm abraisions as though they were braille...
... really intricate work here, Eam, subtle but not so the visuals are lost
*
enjoyed reading the final product [finally]
~k

thank you, Koshka

I am happy that subtle didn’t take the coulour from the picture, I suppose there was every chance it could have, given it is rather short. I reckon what helped is that there are only two focal points, ..or it could be that I’m just one awesome wordsmith  ..or it could be that I have a faboulous  muse ...or it could be all of the above ),

yes, finally.  I was kept busy !  


thank you much kindly for dropping by,  and leaving your thoughts ,  Koshka. much apreciated

despite the use of "light", "rieldans", "play", a lot of positive, gentle words, i got a real sinister vibe off this one. maybe it was glistening scarlet and purple (making me think blood and bruises) "prostrate" and "subjugated", like she was grateful for some kind of careless abuse (ribbed remnants of play). "bracelets to keep" reminded me of handcuffs or marks from them as well, so.... maybe i have a twisted view, but it's amazing how you can leave a write so open as to get such extremely different interpretations. either way, it evoked quite an emotional response... lividity mostly. [:  
but that is what great poetry is meant to do, as we all know.  
 
i like miki's interpretation way better [:

Jesta
 
thank you most much for your thoughts.  
 
I can see where you might have gotten those images from. I suppose the positive words are there to give some indication of consensual and not careless abuse.
 
I do enjoy interpretations, and yours, though a tad sinister is no exception.
 
I like that you felt lividity, in that, it's a strong feeling. so that's a success of sorts  
 
much obliged for your stopping by, and leaving your footprint Miss  

i can see now, where it could be consensual if she was actually satisfied with it. maybe my first reaction was just a bit rebellious against the prostrate subjugation. [:
well played, lep. well played.

It's all good, Lady. your two cents is two cents that makes sense too. though I can assure you I have no desires to inflict careless abuse on anyone :)'

Great piece love this poem beautiful

you’re very kind, Amari

thanks most much for the drop in and for leaving your thoughts

DD

It's no secret, I cannot tell a lie, I'm taking up painting

good to see you around. Lady, thanks for your thoughts  

Its like little trinkets of light that cast off from a charm bracelet. My youngest son William, bought me a harmonica miniature from a turn-a-quarter machine when he was three.  He was thrilled to give it, and its a treasure to me.  It's the little things. That's what it reminded me of.  Great imagery you paint.  I'm glad I caught your poem.

Pishashee

well now, that first sentence is a poem in itself.  nice story too, thanks for that. I gave my mother a tiny camera thing I picked up at an amusment arcade. I took it back an hour later :),

thanks for dropping by, lady. and for leaving your thoughts

The harder side of passion.  Written with a beautiful quality and heart-love.

Great stuff Mr Lep.

Miss Magda

wonderful compliment coming from your good self.  thank you most much for dropping by and leaving your thoughts

I think "hand" and "painted" should have a dash between them, to indicate that you mean her person is hand-painted, as opposed to one of her hands being painted. Is this poem about a doll? Either way, it's a nicely layered, dark and rhythmic piece, kinky even, with strong, colourful images. Thank you for the read.

Mr Scum

sorted the hand, cheers for that. I suppose it could be about a doll, right enough. I'm very happy you dropped by and left your thoughts good sir, cheers m'man  

Your writing is graceful and I seriously enjoy it, especially it's succinctness.           
          
A completely friendly critique:           
          
My English Composition professor instilled in me this knawing dislike for the word 'that'. Her reasoning is quite valid, she explained how it's over and often used when unnecessary. Although its use here certainly isn't any type of travesty, personally, I would've used the word 'giving', or probably some other synonym like 'granting' knowing me, instead of saying 'that gave'.           
          
Enjoyed...           
          
 

Fenom

thanks, man

I get what you're saying,  I have exactly the same gnawing dislike for the word as, though I cannot pin point where I picked it up from

I'm inclined to agree, 'that gave' is a bit clunky. I'll have to have a think about a substitute which doesn't have ing on the end cos it'll mess with the tense

much appreciate your candidness, thanks for dropping by and leaving your thoughts  

touché, Sir...    
     
Yes, I agree. I like that, you're a witty dog aren't you, I've used as a lot myself and will ponder your observation as well. Though, I wish you went into more detail as to why...   ;)    
   
 Cheers...

 yes, witty dog :)'

think as works for me in sentences like

"in so far as"  or " as for your proposition" <- I think "in regards to your" works better there

in think in most cases we write the way we talk. when I'm having a conversation  I wouldn't use as in the context of " as the sun dipped down to the ocean" I think in most cases I would use "when" or "while". totally a preference thing with me

"that" and "as" are kinda like the skeleton keys of  words

  

  

 

Wow, Craic. A truly verbally enscorcelling piece. I suppose my first reaction was one of a sinister response as well; I tend to fear lack of control, misplaced trust, and subjugation. Just memories of something akin to it - so I am duly affected and biased. Yet sometimes I can step into that role in my head... Your portrait painted all that is beautiful and gratifying about the notion of ultimate submission. At least that's what I get out of it. "...the ribbed remnants of play / that gave her bracelets to keep..." - wow, simply wow. She lies sprawled, glowing with the sheen of satiation, within my mind. Thank you for sharing.
 

Toni

I've re-read this a couple of times myself. I think it's one of those poems that offer an image to suit the eye that happens across it essentially letting the reader paint their own portrait. if that's the case it was more from luck than from plot

I like your interpretation, it's pure. the idea of subjugation does not sit well with some ladies, I can understand that,  same as I can understand the other kettle of fish

thanks most much for dropping by, lady. and thanks for leaving your thoughts, much appreciated
    

oh...amazing...For something so short, it holds a wealth of description. I love the end. For the sub in me, this slid home. NICE piece of work. Thank you!
~Stormi~

you're very kind, Stormiwyndz

welcome to this place, you're settling in quite nice.

thanks for dropping by and leaving your thoughts  

I need to be taught how to write like this I fucking love it

Xo

very kind of you to say, lady. careful what you wish for :)' thanks most lots for dropping by and leaving your thoughts

Your first two lines totally threw me into sharp images!

I loved the view!!
~d

sometimes my lines don't know their own strength, I can only apologize for the way they manhandled you, and thank you for dropping by and leaving your thoughts.    

You are a intriguing creature, must seek more of you. The immerse..

very kind of you to say, Lady. but alas, there are no more of me.

Welcome, and thank you for stopping by and leaving your thoughts

Fantastic write ... depending on what I wanted, could read it playful, loving, sinister or beyond saucy.  I guess that's entirely fitting, since real intimacy encompasses it all.  Thanks for the write, CraicD.

ahh, p'raps it's a poet's poetry, that'd be great :) one of many that can be attributed to a wonderfully intense muse

you're most very welcome, lady. and your presence and thoughts are much appreciated

CraicDealer, luv ~ :-*

This piece is stunning and exquisite. Such myriad layers you have here like petals of the most gorgeous flower opening to show what is the truest splendor hidden within for this poem is imbued with love. That is its radiant gift, methinks. :-*

This relationship, in my experience, can be so very profound, intense; it would be immensely difficult not to love her, I think. Look at her, arrayed in all you've given, glistening with gratitude. I'm half in love myself and I've not played her, luv... :-*

How incredibly skillful you are; what a pen you wield and with such inspiring and remarkable brevity. Concisely glorious.

very kind of you to say,Lady

but, ...well, I think you may have grossly understated the sheer brilliance of this ...this glorious gift to literature.

...pro bono I hasten to add!

it's slanderous.

you'll be hearing from my lawyer




  

Heh. ;-p

Oh. Dear. Whatever shall I do? ;-*

Hmmm...

Mayhap, well...no, I couldn't.

I suppose, then, you've no recourse but to sue? ;-p

I love how the poem flowed and the italicized font gave it a mood, along with the colors used in the poem itself.

Welcome

and thanks for dropping by and leaving your foot print

Loved the title and the thought behind the words,
Beautiful....

Hullo

yeah, there was a fair bit of thought behind the words, right enough. you're very kind,  appreciate you stopping in and leaving your thoughts