I Woke Up

I woke up in the dead of the night
to the sound of silence of my heart
not much of a sleep comes with confused mind
but somehow relieving it is to embrace
unexpected chord changes
music brings me patterns
music brings me order
borders are my sanctuary.

I spent my summers on grave yard lane
i spent my summers alone
a place of the purest emotion
when it is too late
to value life
how ironic are your ideals
how ironic is your right
i know that only my death could bring warmth
out of your mouth and hugs onto my corpse
is it not
shame ?

I woke up in a naked forest in dark
by my hand it feels like sight is a lie
as i read your words i lose myself
in nets i got used to have around my wrists
having my command down
pain brings me chaos
pain knows i doubt
i need love in life
not death.

Decaying years
youth has no time
i feel like 100
i am 9
born 17 years ago
and i already have nothing to search for...