Neutrality Preservation

Hope tries to wash over me in waves
But under its control my heart misbehaves
So I've got to fight it with all I have
It feels so good and keeps pulling me back
Then negativity comes in crashing floods next
It takes me down hard and leaves me depressed
It feels so bad and it's pulling me under
So I know it's time to run for cover
Because I can't let either side take their toll
The last thing I want is to lose sense of control
I don't want to influence the way that this could go
I know how the subconscious tends to direct the flow
Not gonna pave the road for a delusion-struck idealist
Gotta make sure to keep this mind straight to remain a realist
I'll walk down the rough path no matter what I must deal with
And I'll find the strength to overcome anything I'm feeling
Any other course of action is one I'm bound to regret
I've got to get this right or at least give my greatest attempt
Everything deserves a chance something that I can't forget
There's a thin line between no expectation and hoping for the best
It's time for me to take some action and move to end this battle
Before I succumb to its grip and it becomes more than I can handle
This web of unruly emotion makes it difficult to stay rational
And I'm starting to doubt my ability to keep sight of what is and isn't practical
My dark protective self has already come up with bad solutions
It says to take the easy way out and just draw your own conclusions
Tell yourself you're wrong until you're hard convinced it's ruined
A more predictable path and you'll at least know what you're doing
Destruction by design and never know the other side
An appealing choice that's tempting and too easy to decide
It calls out my name with my demise in warm disguise
And that's exactly why I must stay away from cold security it provides
A victim to the conflict of my hopeful heart and hopeless mind
Struggling to find neutral balance beneath the sound that won't subside
Because one's judgment tends to slip off track and slide
When strong desires and potential disappointment collide