deepundergroundpoetry.com
Rosemary's Baby Burps And Farts
Away in a playroom, a crib for his bed
Rosemary’s baby laid down his sweet head
The stars on his mobile looked down where he sat
As baby smiled sweetly and eyed up the cat
The cat crept into his crib, crapped and crept back out
This cat, as cats go, was a bit of a lout
Creeping back he’d forgotten to steal the baby's breath
But baby’s breath smelled like nothing on earth
What have you been eating cat said with a meow
Your breath smells like the back end of a cow
Cat’s crap he had left was no longer there
As baby then grabbed a fistful of cat hair
Cat wasn't stupid, Cat wasn't thick
But not quick enough to avoid all that sick
Baby spewed out to pints of green gooo
Straight over the cat making him look like stew
Rosemary's baby gave a grin then a slurp
From the root of his toes came an almighty burp
The room started shaking, things falling about
The cat being wiser, as he had crept in, he crept out
The door then flung open “how’s mummy's wee boy"
She was hit square in the face by a low flying toy
"Just look at this mess you really are naughty"
"you’re filthy and dirty, your nose is all snotty"
Rosemary smiled "you're still Mummy's pet"
She was stabbed in the leg with a gray plastic jet
She let out a scream and fell into the cot
And got covered in vomit, cat fur and snot
A quick change and powder the baby looked cute
As he slid down the length of his orange plastic chute
He crawled a short distance and rose from the floor
Slamming poor Rosemary's head in the toy cupboard door
She sat there still bleeding, he sat there quite meek
He then blew his nose down the length of her cheek
She picked him up sharply full of vengeance and hate
And plonked him in the playpen and padlocked the gate
She watched for a moment and tried to calm down
She gave him his favorite, a large teddy clown
He hugged tightly teddy, looked it straight in the eye
Then ripped of his head screaming "Clown, clown must die"
He sat in his playpen sucking his toes
When all of a sudden it sped up mum's nose
A cloud of aroma like onions and gravy
Could this smell really have come from her baby?
His neck went stiff, his cheeks went red
Veins stuck out on the side of his head
He lay on his back, kicked his legs wide apart
With evil intent, let rip a thunderous fart
Rosemary using both hands pinched up her nose
But all through the room the temperature rose
Plastic toys melted, bears burst into flames
Cat laid dead on a pile of board games
The smell was too much baby staggered about
His eyes rolled over white and then he passed out
Mummy sat beside him stroking his hair
The number 666 became suddenly clear
She screamed in horror, raised her hand in a fist
In the doorway stood a rottweiler who looked rather pissed
Baby’s eyes flickered open shouting “Mum, mum hit deck"
With one bound and one bite the dog broke her neck
Rosemary's baby now lives on his own
Protected by Satan and a dog with a bone
He lives on raw meat and teddy bear hearts
Still Rosemary's baby burps and farts
Rosemary’s baby laid down his sweet head
The stars on his mobile looked down where he sat
As baby smiled sweetly and eyed up the cat
The cat crept into his crib, crapped and crept back out
This cat, as cats go, was a bit of a lout
Creeping back he’d forgotten to steal the baby's breath
But baby’s breath smelled like nothing on earth
What have you been eating cat said with a meow
Your breath smells like the back end of a cow
Cat’s crap he had left was no longer there
As baby then grabbed a fistful of cat hair
Cat wasn't stupid, Cat wasn't thick
But not quick enough to avoid all that sick
Baby spewed out to pints of green gooo
Straight over the cat making him look like stew
Rosemary's baby gave a grin then a slurp
From the root of his toes came an almighty burp
The room started shaking, things falling about
The cat being wiser, as he had crept in, he crept out
The door then flung open “how’s mummy's wee boy"
She was hit square in the face by a low flying toy
"Just look at this mess you really are naughty"
"you’re filthy and dirty, your nose is all snotty"
Rosemary smiled "you're still Mummy's pet"
She was stabbed in the leg with a gray plastic jet
She let out a scream and fell into the cot
And got covered in vomit, cat fur and snot
A quick change and powder the baby looked cute
As he slid down the length of his orange plastic chute
He crawled a short distance and rose from the floor
Slamming poor Rosemary's head in the toy cupboard door
She sat there still bleeding, he sat there quite meek
He then blew his nose down the length of her cheek
She picked him up sharply full of vengeance and hate
And plonked him in the playpen and padlocked the gate
She watched for a moment and tried to calm down
She gave him his favorite, a large teddy clown
He hugged tightly teddy, looked it straight in the eye
Then ripped of his head screaming "Clown, clown must die"
He sat in his playpen sucking his toes
When all of a sudden it sped up mum's nose
A cloud of aroma like onions and gravy
Could this smell really have come from her baby?
His neck went stiff, his cheeks went red
Veins stuck out on the side of his head
He lay on his back, kicked his legs wide apart
With evil intent, let rip a thunderous fart
Rosemary using both hands pinched up her nose
But all through the room the temperature rose
Plastic toys melted, bears burst into flames
Cat laid dead on a pile of board games
The smell was too much baby staggered about
His eyes rolled over white and then he passed out
Mummy sat beside him stroking his hair
The number 666 became suddenly clear
She screamed in horror, raised her hand in a fist
In the doorway stood a rottweiler who looked rather pissed
Baby’s eyes flickered open shouting “Mum, mum hit deck"
With one bound and one bite the dog broke her neck
Rosemary's baby now lives on his own
Protected by Satan and a dog with a bone
He lives on raw meat and teddy bear hearts
Still Rosemary's baby burps and farts
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