deepundergroundpoetry.com
nets
nets
seduced by the fire of men
who find amusement in my self destruction
my hue is bark and bitter chocolate
and I love the lullabies of crickets and bullfrogs
I'm the dirty secret locked in a drawer
while she's draped in silk
her capricious flight
reminds you of your dreams
when you open your drawer
i remind you
the emperor has no clothes
Presented in the Moths and Butterflies challenge hosted by mikimoondancer (50 -75 word limit)
seduced by the fire of men
who find amusement in my self destruction
my hue is bark and bitter chocolate
and I love the lullabies of crickets and bullfrogs
I'm the dirty secret locked in a drawer
while she's draped in silk
her capricious flight
reminds you of your dreams
when you open your drawer
i remind you
the emperor has no clothes
Presented in the Moths and Butterflies challenge hosted by mikimoondancer (50 -75 word limit)
Published 28th Jan 2015
| Edited 11th Oct 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 1
comments 10
reads 1096
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
28th Jan 2015 1:06am
you are KILLING IT today.
this is delicate and fierce all at the same time. good write. very good.
this is delicate and fierce all at the same time. good write. very good.
28th Jan 2015 1:15am
Thank you for the kind words ... Truth be known writes like this are why I like jumping into the competitions because they challenge me to take a unique pov on the assignment - and the submissions of others provide for great reads ...
... besides I was snowbound - so it was writing & commenting on archived poems - some real gems locked in the DUP vaults.
... besides I was snowbound - so it was writing & commenting on archived poems - some real gems locked in the DUP vaults.
Anonymous
28th Jan 2015 1:11am
<< post removed >>
28th Jan 2015 1:20am
It's interesting you found that sexy Gabriel because I started to place this in the erotica category but there was an underlying social issue that I didn't want lost ...
... Thanks for your comment - always a pleasure.
... Thanks for your comment - always a pleasure.
28th Jan 2015 7:30am
You're not only a divine writer of haiku but also a fine writer of thrilling free verse poems. Love it, it's so good!
Thank you for the wonderful compliment! I immediately wanted to write something soft and light given the assigned topic, but a number of poets had penned some notable pieces in that light so it forced me to take a darker metaphorical tone ...
... I'm glad you found I'd hit the mark, you made my morning as its 4 degrees here (-15 C).
... I'm glad you found I'd hit the mark, you made my morning as its 4 degrees here (-15 C).
28th Jan 2015 5:47pm
29th Jan 2015 10:58am
Thank you for asking ... There was a fraction of the snow predicted 4 - 6 inches (10 - 15 cm) versus the 60 cm predicted.
The predicted forecast shutdown NYC however, there was driving ban from 11 PM - 8 AM - in three states Monday into Tuesday.
The predicted forecast shutdown NYC however, there was driving ban from 11 PM - 8 AM - in three states Monday into Tuesday.
29th Jan 2015 4:22pm
Mo Chara....i can feel the underlying, subtle sorrow within this piece...
To me it seems almost a social paradox, in a way...how we are (supposedly) all 'equal', yet some just a bit more 'equal' than others...deserving of more.
As the butterfly is of the, day---fickle in her fidelity--is free to soar in the light of all her beauty...while the moth, although exquisite in her own right, is not regarded as possessing enough elegance to be considered beautiful---as she is of the night, and the darker, less desirable beings....
Umm....simply what i somehow read between the lines....your metaphor of the more 'accepted' [social-light] butterfly, and less desired lady of the night--the moth.
(Somehow makes one think beyond the scientific...as to why moths are drawn to the light....)
Really appreciated the irony in your final stanza!
best of luck to you in the comp!
To me it seems almost a social paradox, in a way...how we are (supposedly) all 'equal', yet some just a bit more 'equal' than others...deserving of more.
As the butterfly is of the, day---fickle in her fidelity--is free to soar in the light of all her beauty...while the moth, although exquisite in her own right, is not regarded as possessing enough elegance to be considered beautiful---as she is of the night, and the darker, less desirable beings....
Umm....simply what i somehow read between the lines....your metaphor of the more 'accepted' [social-light] butterfly, and less desired lady of the night--the moth.
(Somehow makes one think beyond the scientific...as to why moths are drawn to the light....)
Really appreciated the irony in your final stanza!
best of luck to you in the comp!
30th Jan 2015 1:05am
I'd seen a piece on the ugliest sides of human trafficking on television and somehow wanted to incorporate elements of that tragedy into this piece ...
... You're interpretation was right on point. The competition in itself was a great springboard - so I'm fine with just have written it.
Many thanks Mo Chara
... You're interpretation was right on point. The competition in itself was a great springboard - so I'm fine with just have written it.
Many thanks Mo Chara
