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to woo a kentucky girl

in kentucky, we drink three fingers of bourbon every time
and keep that shit neat
you start mixing with coke or sugar
and youíre gonna get a hangover the size of man oíwar
(unless itís the first saturday in may, and then
you bet your ass that weíre swigginí down mint juleps)

so let me give you some hints, big boy:

if youíre gonna waltz in here and think you can woo this southern belle,
you better be packiní some woodford reserve and a string of pearls
somewhere in that pretty little pocket of yours
you better be prepared to hike Ďthe gorgeí in all seasons
and lay in the hayfield to watch the stars
(preferably in the bed of a pickup truck)
iíll wooly up to ya and make you feel like a king
iíll say all the right things and your mama is gonna tell you iím a keeper (and i am)
but you better believe that iíve got a mouth like a sailor and i ainít afraid to use it

i have fire and ice in my blood and i survive
i can fry chicken that will make your tongue slap the roof of your mouth
i drink with the boys
debutante is my middle fucking name
and while iím wearing my sunday best, iíll punch your teeth out if you piss me off
iíll saddle my own horse, by God
and hold your arm as we walk down the street, all pretty pinks and painted lips

darliní you ainít seen nothing like me
so take it or leave it
but if you ainít quick,
iíll move on to the next one who thinks he can handle
this wild heart
Written by TheGoddessMinerva (Minerva Grace)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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