i am november

I am November, the chilling winds
blend with the conditions in my heart
My heart blends with 13 years of not
blending to the conditions very well

I am December, the morning shares
the same blackness as the nights
To which I divert from the light
calling for the morning to prolong its darkness

I am January, 5 days since you first said
my full name without a word being spoken
As my ice dispenses a single drop
unfelt before you appeared in a shadowy halo

I am February, too soon to whisper
three words into your untested by me ears
Though 14 days in, I find comfort there
while you reach for the top shelf of doubt

I am March,  uncertainty keeps the ground
wrapped in snow and the lake waits for
Lovers to fall deep into its trap
one in which we barely escape

I am April, change has captured a soul
within the song of a bird that decides
Not to fly but instead make a home
of old leaves and unbloomed flowers

I am May, now into the 5th month
of finding a home, a shelter for brokeness
A hand to be unheld but very much held
in a quiver of complete togetherness

I am June, there is sun...vigorous sun
shining across ponds and glistening into
Conversations of a life to be lived and others
to be brought into our world, our home within us

I am July, I am tired and battered
by the maybes and some days
I am restless in a worn shell
that dreams of being in that lake still

I am August, gardens have given of themselves
and now drift into the acceptance of expiration
There in all that greyness of upcoming death we find
the tethers of a tomorrow bonding our ankles to the bedposts

I am September, how the moments now go do not
will not and can not matter because
I am you and you are me and from this month on
we breathe in the love and only exhale to the Heavens

I am October, I am blessed by the cool air
that rises from an imported breeze
that has taken this heart, the one once frozen
and given it a beat, a hop and always a skip

copyright 2014 dysfunctional-heart-poetry
Mark Anthony Cotterman
from the EBook "Promised Rainbows"