The Strong Lion

When I questioned their "problems" he said,
'Caylee, not everyone can be as strong as you',
As if he knew,
The game I play each wretched day,
To get by...
If strong is holding back the tears I so wish to cry,
That build themselves up in each corner of my eye,
The ones that come so sharply and burn harder, as each day passes by,
Then I don't want to be "this" strong.
For locking up my burdens has become a devious sin...
My heart becomes heavier without my close ones noticing,
I face my turmoils head on simply because...
I don't care what else God has to bring.
I've lost dearest ones,
And in turn myself, my own,
I don't feel comfortable when I'm alone,
My messed up mind is a sadistic home,
To the notion of guilt that sifts through my bones.
I can't breath in my body no matter how hard I'm trying,
When I say I'm okay only I know I'm lying,
Because the real me is weak and inside constantly crying,
I don't know whose approval I seek to be buying,
I don't know what my rebellion seems to be defying,
Inside?
Inside I'm dying.
So when you say I'm strong,
Stronger then others,
You'd be surprised,
Who I am undercover.
I am a coward,
Scared of my own face,
Who claims they're a lion,
Just to grasp a little space.