deepundergroundpoetry.com
A Prayer
I pray for guidance and understanding, understanding of me and why I continue to be trapped. Trapped in a continuous cycle.
My life seems to be determined by continued disappointments that I tend to face as my reality… Brief interludes of happiness are like rays of sunshine that temporarily pierce the clouds on a stormy day.
Seasons change, but on each rotation everything's the same…
Every spring brings something new to your life,
Every fall takes something old or no longer necessary away, and every winter kills that which is toxic to the soul.
But where does this leave me?
Every change, every season, every year...
And yet for me the cycle reflects, maybe different players, but the same storyline or plot with an epic tragic ending.
Why do I continue to put myself on the line like laundry used, washed, drying, and waiting to be used again, like that is my purpose?
Looking to change, but what…?
To make a difference and make others realize that there’s more here than just a good time and someone to make them feel better.
No one’s fault but my own willing to settle for any attention rather than pay attention to the motives behind the intent. Optimistic that perhaps this time it’s sincere. Then quick to turn pessimist knowing that something will change.
Because I knew at the beginning that it was me seeing a fantasy.
My reality is that I need to accept the guidance and understand that I may not be able to control others or how they treat me, but I control my actions and what I allow. My happiness should be more important than pleasing someone else who cares nothing about what I want for me.
So I confess that I am not perfect nor do I strive to be. But, I pray for that man that will cherish, understand and complete me.
My life seems to be determined by continued disappointments that I tend to face as my reality… Brief interludes of happiness are like rays of sunshine that temporarily pierce the clouds on a stormy day.
Seasons change, but on each rotation everything's the same…
Every spring brings something new to your life,
Every fall takes something old or no longer necessary away, and every winter kills that which is toxic to the soul.
But where does this leave me?
Every change, every season, every year...
And yet for me the cycle reflects, maybe different players, but the same storyline or plot with an epic tragic ending.
Why do I continue to put myself on the line like laundry used, washed, drying, and waiting to be used again, like that is my purpose?
Looking to change, but what…?
To make a difference and make others realize that there’s more here than just a good time and someone to make them feel better.
No one’s fault but my own willing to settle for any attention rather than pay attention to the motives behind the intent. Optimistic that perhaps this time it’s sincere. Then quick to turn pessimist knowing that something will change.
Because I knew at the beginning that it was me seeing a fantasy.
My reality is that I need to accept the guidance and understand that I may not be able to control others or how they treat me, but I control my actions and what I allow. My happiness should be more important than pleasing someone else who cares nothing about what I want for me.
So I confess that I am not perfect nor do I strive to be. But, I pray for that man that will cherish, understand and complete me.
Published 12th Jan 2015
| Edited 14th Feb 2021
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Anonymous
20th Mar 2015 7:38pm
Amen!
20th Mar 2015 11:06pm
