Breaking News

...Informed sources tells us that...
...rampant corruption has...
...substantiated findings that these tests...
...will certainly fail in light of...
...grievous bodily harm resulting from...
...the seizure of personal assets within...
...the Oval Office, where President Obama spoke on...
...circumstances beyond our failure...
...to raise the Gross National Product...
...from corporate corruption spotted within...
...the recent security leak in the wake of...
...global warming, which continues unchecked from...
...sunspots, which have apparently reanimated corpses...
...right here in this seemingly tranquil area where...
...highly trained jackals have been organized to...
...bring some comfort to the last days of...
...Vladimir Putin, who was spotted masturbating over a map of...
...this quaint small town where grandmothers...
...appear to be heavily armed anticipating...
...the spread of this virus when travelers decline to...
...do the hokey pokey and...
That's what it's all about!