deepundergroundpoetry.com
My Prince
As I open my eyes I see a lone figure
standing out from the crowd of faceless strangers
his face is hidden behind a metal masquerade
but his mask cannot conceal his pain
as I gaze into his eyes
I see the scars inside
I look into his mind
and see his masochist side
I creep closer to him and grab his arm
I pull up his silk black sleeve
and look at his scars and deep,bloody cuts
they're like rows of red blooming roses
I push down his sleeve and take his hand
I give him a hug and pet his hair
pulling him closer to me I whisper in his ear
"Its no fun to be alone in a crowded room.
my Prince, may I join you?"
standing out from the crowd of faceless strangers
his face is hidden behind a metal masquerade
but his mask cannot conceal his pain
as I gaze into his eyes
I see the scars inside
I look into his mind
and see his masochist side
I creep closer to him and grab his arm
I pull up his silk black sleeve
and look at his scars and deep,bloody cuts
they're like rows of red blooming roses
I push down his sleeve and take his hand
I give him a hug and pet his hair
pulling him closer to me I whisper in his ear
"Its no fun to be alone in a crowded room.
my Prince, may I join you?"
Published 29th Apr 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 5
comments 21
reads 1293
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
29th Apr 2011 2:07am
I Love it !!! And honestly it's one of my favorites ! It's sad though cause cutting is sad but I can't speak cause I've done it so GREAT JOB!
29th Apr 2011 2:16am
thank you im glad you liked it Meagan. i know what you mean about how cuttings sad cause iv done it to and still do it sometimes. but really thanks you probably dont know how much it means to me that someone whos a stranger likes my poem.
29th Apr 2011 4:21am
29th Apr 2011 10:36am
2nd May 2011 2:32am
I keep reading this poem over and over right now it is my favorite !!! MasqueradePrince you are simply great.
8th May 2011 1:39am
My word, this is outstanding. "It's no fun to be alone in a crowded room". I agree, I totally agree...
8th May 2011 3:01am
8th May 2011 3:31am
I've read this poem at least 20 times, and I'm not sure why it took so long to add to my reading list. I've considered it every time, though only last time I've actually done it.
8th May 2011 5:29am
Firstly, thank you for reading my work.
The best positive of this poem is the simplicity and the message it bears.
The weakness is you could have used fewer words to tell the same story. It would have created a bigger impact. For example,
"I pull up his silk black sleeve
and look at them rows of thorns blooming into roses red
Concealing them, I pull him closer
and whisper in his ear"
When you have used an image of roses let the reader interpret what it is about, why tell him plain? Keep writing.
The best positive of this poem is the simplicity and the message it bears.
The weakness is you could have used fewer words to tell the same story. It would have created a bigger impact. For example,
"I pull up his silk black sleeve
and look at them rows of thorns blooming into roses red
Concealing them, I pull him closer
and whisper in his ear"
When you have used an image of roses let the reader interpret what it is about, why tell him plain? Keep writing.
11th May 2011 00:40am
The poem is romantic, yet dark, and it is somehow soothing to read. 'My Prince' is a very talented piece of work.
11th May 2011 1:55am
19th May 2011 4:04am
19th May 2011 5:09am
21st May 2011 4:17pm
i have no words to explain how much i enjoyed it, for some reason...but me likey! ^_^
25th May 2011 11:49pm
Like someone already said, you could have used fewer words, but i'm quite fond of this type of writing myself and I love to do it often. Good work! =P
2nd Jun 2011 4:12am
Thats amazing, your truly talented. beautiful. keep up the good work :)
20th Jul 2011 4:14am
this poem grabs my attention because i love how you beat around the bush and described something so terrible to think about ( as a reader)into something that's soothing (for the main character) yes they might say use less words and who knows it might sound better or not but that's the essence of the poet that makes you unique and different from everyone else your own style of poetry makes you who you are inside that probably no one ever sees if they're trying to correct you ... keep up the good work :) and i am definitely following you :)
2nd Jan 2012 6:48pm
2nd Jan 2012 9:47pm
