Retail Workers Hymn

Retail Workers Hymn  
[to the tune of “Onward Christian Soldiers”)


Onward retail workers
After every sale
Always under pressure
Targets to assail
Customers you hate them
But you cannot fail
Grit your teeth whilst smiling
Try not to exhale

Onward retail workers
Marching as to war
With the special offers
Going on before

Onward retail workers
After every sale
Yes you want to kill them
On a pole impale
Crucify them daily
Hands and feet to nail
In your mind you torture
Strip them bare and flail

Onward retail workers
Marching as to war
With the pre-tax profits
Going on before